Stale Bread
by Scandalous Sparkle
Summary: It's been 10 years since the rebellion won. Katniss and Peeta have been divorced for 6 years and they have a daughter he didn't know about. What happens when Katniss is forced back to 12 and has to face him with their daughter? Rated T for now...
1. Long Time No See

_**This takes place about ten years after Mockingjay. Katniss and Peeta are now 28. Finnick and Prim DIDN'T die just for your information... Please read and review!**_

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><p><em><strong>Peeta<strong>_

Haymitch died three days ago of just plain ol' old age, or at least he died from wearing his body out. I don't know which came as more of a shock, his death or that it wasn't the liquor that killed him. It's odd though standing in his house, I keep expecting to see him but I know that's never going to happen again. I'm never going to see the man who saved my life, was a good friend, a father figure and the savior of the girl I loved. It's just too much for me to wrap my mind around.

I take a deep breath before slowly making my way from the door to the sitting room. This room was his favorite. There were pictures of him and Effie all over the place, the two had gotten married shortly after the rebellion ended and had spent quite a few years surprisingly happily married. Effie had unfortunately passed away a few years ago, but it hadn't slowed Haymitch down any since he knew Effie never would have wanted him to change is way of life because of her.

Haymitch spent a lot of time with Katniss though, that much was obvious by all the pictures. There were countless pictures of him with Katniss and a little girl who looked just like her, all the pictures where he was with the little girl, he had a proud look on his face. There were ones of him with Katniss, Finnick and Annie, ones even of him with Finnick and Annie's son who looked just like Finnick.

I picked up one of Katniss and the little girl. They were laughing and where sitting in Haymitch's goose pen. I had gone away to the Capitol for some therapy and Katniss had come to twelve to see Haymitch. I had been outraged that I had missed her because we still had so much unfinished business between us, but Haymitch had told me it had been for the best. He never did tell me though who the little girl was, only that she was very dear to him. I knew without a doubt that she was Katniss' daughter though, she looked too much like her and there were one or two pictures of Katniss holding an infant wrapped up in pink looking proud yet sad.

I set the picture down but pick up one of Katniss and Gale. Gale was all dressed up, it was his wedding day according to Effie. He'd married Johanna and Katniss had attended their wedding. Effie had forced her to get all dressed up for it so Katniss didn't seem though amused but was still smiling. Katniss looked incredible though, happy and carefree. It made me wonder if Katniss had gotten remarried. I didn't know anything about her, Haymitch told me nothing about her except that if something should ever happen to him to call Annie and Finnick, they'd know how to get ahold of Katniss.

I hadn't spoken to her since the morning before she left. She had been really sick, puking, dizzy and had no energy. She had tried to reassure me that she was fine, but I hadn't thought so. I had gone downstairs to call a doctor to make her an appointment when a tracker jacker had flown in our kitchen window. It had sent me into an attack that I didn't remember. I had woken up on our bedroom floor the next day, my head killing me, glass shattered around me and Haymich sitting on our bed. He'd told me that I had almost killed Katniss again and she had left. After that Katniss had sent Haymitch divorce papers which had convinced me to sign for Katniss' sake but judging by the smears and water marks on it, Katniss had cried too when she had signed them.

I hadn't moved on, hell I still lived in our house, her Victor's house, with everything exactly as it had been before she had left. I still couldn't even go into our room, I slept in a guest room instead so I could avoid the worst of my regret and shame. I never stopped thinking about her though, she was a constant in my life even though she had walked out on me. It had probably been my inability to let her go that had fueled me to lie to Annie and Finnick, telling them that I wasn't going to be attending the funeral so Katniss wouldn't have to worry about seeing me, I had claimed to be needing to go to the Capitol this weekend.

I ran my fingers through my hair, I was more nervous than I had ever been in my life which was really saying something. Katniss, Finnick, Annie, Prim and Mrs. Everdeen were supposed to be arriving today as was the girl that Haymitch had left everything to. I was waiting at the house for a Pearl Everlark to show up so I could give her a letter Haymitch had left for her. I had never heard of her before and figured she was someone from his past because who else would Haymitch leave his house, geese, money and any other worldly possessions he and Effie had owned?

I heard a voice shouting from outside the house and jumped to my feet. One voice sounded stern while the others were joking and laughing. I didn't understand how anyone could be happy but I figured people dealt with grief their own way and who was I to judge?

" Pearl! Wait for your mother!" I heard a familiar male voice call just as several footsteps pounded on the front porch.

" I wanna see Grampy!" A little girl's voice shouted back before the door handle suddenly jingled and three children about six years old came running into the sitting room.

I paused as I took them in, their smiles slowly fading. I recognize one of the boys, he was just a younger version of Finnick. There was another boy with dark hair and grey eyes that I'd never seen before but the one little girl of the group, I recognized her from the pictures.

" Pearl, what did your mom tell you? Echo, Elm, you two are also in trouble." The man snapped as he stumbled in the house. He too stopped though as he saw me.

" Gale… Wasn't expecting to see you." I mutter as I straighten up and take in how he hasn't changed much over the years.

" I could say the same for you Mellark." He growled.

" Daddy, who is this man and where is grandpa Haymitch?" The dark haired boy asks, tugging on Gale's shirt.

Gale drops his gaze to the little boy and something about his expression softens.

" This is an old friend of auntie Katniss' Elm… Why don't you three go see the geese." He tells the little boy.

The boy nods and the three of them run off. I don't dare take my gaze off of Gale though. " You have a son?" I ask, somehow the idea of Johanna and Gale having a kid never quite seemed possible in my mind.

" Uh yeah… We also have a daughter on the way. Johanna and the others will be here soon enough but Johanna wanted to get checked into our motel first." He explains before moving to take a seat on the couch, falling silent for a minute. " Finnick said you were supposed to be in the Capitol."

" I was, but things came up and I couldn't go this weekend." I lie, taking a seat across from him.

" Well then… I'm sorry about the three of them barging in here like that, we were supposed to just check the geese out back and not step foot in the house." He grumbles as he rubs the back of his neck.

" Don't worry… I'm just waiting for the woman Haymitch left the house to come by so I can give her this." I say as I pull out a letter from my pants pocket and fiddle with it a bit.

" Oh she's not too far away…" He says with a small laugh just as three kids come running in and flock to him so I can't press the issue anymore.

" The geese are all fine uncle Gale… Can I go back to mommy now? She's really sad." The little girl whispers as she wraps her arms around Gale's waist.

" In a moment sweet pea." He sighs before standing up. " I'll be sure to let Katniss know you're still in town, who knows, she might like to stop by." Gale tells me as he holds out his hand and I shake it.

" Yeah, please do." I tell him as I clear my throat.

We stand there in silence for a moment before there's a loud groan from outside. " Uh-oh." The little girl whispers and tries to hide behind Gale's leg and Gale rolls his eyes.

" Gale, I thought you weren't coming in here yet?" A woman calls out as she stomps up the steps and hustles into the room.

My heart stops the second she enters the room and she lets out a small squeak, her eyes going wide. Katniss hasn't changed hardly any at all. She has faint laugh lines around the edges of her lips and eyes, she looks healthier than the last time I'd seen her. Her hair is still long and is held back in a braided bun, a few silver hairs visible in the bright light of the sitting room. She's wearing a black dress, dark stockings and heels surprisingly. She stills managed to take my breath away even though she looks terrified as our eyes lock.

" Peeta." She hisses as the little girl rushes to her and I feel my heart breaking because Katniss doesn't show any emotion towards seeing me. " I was expecting to not see you this weekend."

I can't help but flinch a little. I can't remember hurting her so badly to deserve such poison in her voice, she was the one after all who had left, filed for divorce and wouldn't allow anyone to tell me even what District she was living in. " It's good to see you too Katniss." I murmur.

The little girl looks at me confused and then looks to Katniss. " Mommy uncle Gale says this man is a friend of yours." She whispers.

Katniss slowly kneels down and sets her hands on the girls shoulders. " Uncle Gale was a little right. Honey this man… this man is your father." She tells the little girl.

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><p><strong><em>Thought it'd be a little nice to leave this on a cliff hanger. I'd really love to hear what you have to say about this because this is going to be different then what I'm used to writing... This is going to be written from Katniss and Peeta's point of views just so you all know. The chapters will also probably be longer.<em>**


	2. Memories

_**Peeta**_

Needless to say I was surprised when my phone went off at two in the morning and Finnick's voice greeted me. He sounded like he was about to break down as he pleaded with me to come down to their hotel and help with Katniss, claiming it was an emergency. My first thought had been to shoot him down right away, why should I help her when she so carelessly dropped a bomb on me? One glance out my bedroom window to the house next door that had belonged to my friend and mentor however and I was telling Finnick I was on my way, knowing Haymitch would be very disappointed in me if I didn't at least attempt to help.

When I arrived at the hotel, Finnick was pacing the lobby and looked relieved to see me. " What's so damned important that you had to call me at two in the morning to come take care of Katniss?" I murmur as I shake his hand.

" She's drunk." He says bluntly.

I gawk at him for a moment, trying to see if he's serious about that being the emergency. " So?" I can't believe he called me to help him with Katniss since she was drunk, really that wasn't a big deal to me and he'd made it sound like a life or death situation. He really needed to learn the difference between a nuisance and an emergency.

" So? When Katniss gets drunk and gets around Pearl, she's a disaster. She starts crying and turns into a complete mess, it's almost worse than when she was pregnant. She doesn't harm Pearl, but it scares her to have Katniss apologizing and crying over and over again. She usually only gets drunk twice a year, Annie and I would usually watch Pearl because Haymitch and Effie would come up so they could drink with her but with Annie and I's two sons in the room we don't have the space to put Katniss or Pearl, Johanna's pregnant so there's no room with Elm, Gale and her and Katniss can't go back to her room with Pearl, her mother and Prim." He explains.

" Finnick seriously what's this got to do with me? I'm sorry, usually I have more patience but after what happened with Katniss earlier, I'm running very thin. " I tell him as I rub my temples, trying to figure out why they didn't move people around or get another room, certainly between four Victors they could afford to.

" Alright, I can understand that, but you're not the only one who's ticked with her over the confrontation earlier or this whole situation. I'll make this nice and sweet, there are no other rooms available here in the hotel. Pretty much, Katniss needs another place to stay." He sighs.

I roll my eyes at him and start towards the door, only stopping when he asks why I won't even help a little bit. " Why Finnick? Why won't I help Katniss?" I snap as I turn around to look at him. " Alright let's go down the list. First, when I needed her the most, when I woke up without a single memory of the night before, she had fled. Second, she divorced me without so much as an explanation as to why. Third, I don't hear a single word from her, have no idea where she escaped to and haven't spoken to her in six years and what's the first thing she does? She drops a huge effing bomb on me that I'm a father to a six year old girl!" By the end of my little rant, I'm breathing heavily and yelling.

Finnick is silent for a moment before he runs a hand through his hair. " You called her no better than a common Capitol whore." He mutters, eyes dropping to the ground.

My entire body freezes and I give him a confused, repulsed look. " What?" I ask, everything coming to a sudden stop as I feel like my world is crashing in around me.

" The night she left, when you had an attack, you found her in your bed, wanting to surprise you but you came up and told her she was no better than any other common Capitol whore. She tried to get away from you and when she tried to dash past you and out of the room, you grabbed her by her throat. You help her against the wall, slamming her head against the wall and you hit her. Haymitch barely made it in time to save her." He explains and I feel like I can't breathe. " She had just learned about being pregnant and she panicked. When Haymitch told her she needed to be more careful for the baby's sake and she needed to get to a safe place, she thought only of you. She figured you'd hate yourself for almost harmed your baby and she didn't want you to feel guilty or hate yourself."

" How do you know all this?" I ask as I stand there, arms at my sides and hands balled in fists. One thing's for sure though, Katniss was right if he's telling the truth. I hate myself a little bit more for having harmed Katniss when she'd been pregnant and risking my unborn child's life.

" She told us everything and it was Annie and I who took her to the hospital when she arrived in District Four, luckily it was just bruises on her face and throat and nothing permanent. The baby obviously took no damage from it. After that she picked up some bad habits and it took Pearl being born to pull her out of her depression."

This is all news to me and I'm feeling a bit weak in my knees. " What bad habits did she pick up?" I demand.

" She used to cut her wrists, she would try to do dangerous things that risked not only her life but Pearl's. She didn't eat or sleep much and there would be days she would either not be able to get out of bed or she would spend a whole day sitting in the bath, crying."

I can't speak or move anymore. I can't believe what he's telling me. Why would Katniss be so miserable if_ she_ left _me_? Even if what he's saying is true and it was for our baby, it still didn't explain her earlier behavior.

" She still loves you." He assures me and I shake my head. It's cruel for him to say something like that when it's obvious I still love her.

" No. She was so cold earlier. She didn't even seem to care when she'd carelessly told me that I had a daughter. A _six year old_ daughter. A six year old daughter that I knew nothing about, not even a whisper of and I forced to see pictures of her all over Haymitch's house!"

" I knew you wouldn't understand." A voice whispers and Finnick and I quickly in the direction it came from. My heart leaps though and all my anger and frustration instantly disappeared just like it used to.

" Katniss…" Finnick whispered and started towards her. She held her hand up to stop him and he just froze.

" Finnick you weren't supposed to tell him anything. You promised me when I came to Four, you promised me along with everyone else that what happened was mine to tell and mine alone." She told him, her voice shaking and eyes closing. " I was never going to tell him any of that!"

" I'm sorry Katniss, he deserves to know though. You just kind of told him something important like you were saying ' hello' and dashed off." He challenged.

" That gives you no right to go and tell him!" She suddenly screamed drawing plenty of attention.

" You're drunk Katniss." He counters. " You don't know what you're saying."

" I know exactly what I'm saying and I'm not drunk _Finnick_." She snapped. The way she said his name actually surprised me. I had never heard her say a name with so much venom, not even Snow or Coin had heard that.

" Yes you are Katniss. You're not going to go back up to your room tonight, Prim and your mom are going to handle Pearl with no problem." He tells her, grabbing her by her wrist and pulling her forward.

" You can't tell me what to do Finnick. I'm twenty-eight, I have a six year old daughter and I've been through just as much as you if not more. You can't treat me like a child anymore!" She protests as she tries to pull away from him.

" Then stop acting like one!" He snaps, tossing her towards me. I've never seen Finnick act in such a way when not protecting Annie, especially with Katniss, so I'm stunned beyond words.

She stumbles and crashes into my arms. It's second nature for me to wrap them tightly around her to protect her or comfort her. She doesn't pull away but instead turns to glare at Finnick who looks fierce. " This is for Pearl. She's seen you drunk before, she doesn't need to see it now, especially after the stunt you pulled earlier." Finnick tells her before looking up to me, his expression softening to one of relief and thanks. " I'm sorry about this Peeta, I'll pay you for your help though. She just needs to sleep this off."

I shake my head and bend down to scoop Katniss up bridal style, once again she doesn't try to pull away or even stop me. " Don't worry about paying me. After what you've told me, I don't need anything else. I'm just going to take her to the loft over the bakery that's just across the street. I'll make sure she's completely sober in the morning." I promise him.

" Thank you Peeta. We're all thankful you can do this and we're sorry though for having to drag you into this." He pats my shoulder and mutters me a wish of good luck before heading up the stairs to his room.

" Forget what he told you earlier." Katniss mutters and I look down to see her staring after Finnick.

" Let's just get you to the loft." I mutter and carry her out of the hotel and across to my bakery. It takes me a minute to dig around in my pocket for the keys and get the door open and a challenge too since I somehow manage to keep her up off the ground with one arm and a knee to support her surprisingly light body. I carry her up the stairs in the kitchen and to the loft apartment, it's just a large bedroom with a small bathroom. I set her on the bed before running downstairs to lock up the bakery again and take my time going upstairs to join her, Finnick's words still loud in my ears.

When I get upstairs, I find Katniss staring at the pictures of us on the wall, a wall she had personally selected every photo for since it was all about the first year we had been married. She's staring out a picture of us on our honeymoon, my personal favorite of all the pictures of her hanging up. We had gone to District Four, luckily able to rent a small house on a private beach where no adoring fans or paparazzi, it really had been just the two of us. This particular picture was of her smiling and waving, she was standing ankle deep in the water, it was sunset so the sky was orange, pink and yellow and she was in a hunter's green bikini. She just looked so incredible in that moment, carefree, happy and like nothing in the world bothered her.

What I wouldn't do to have that Katniss back or have been able to cling onto her for just a little bit longer…

" You haven't changed anything have you?" She whispered, guessing that I was back in the room.

I clear my throat nervously and try not to show that I'm a bit ashamed that I haven't. " I wanted things the way they were before everything happened and we fell apart." I admit softly.

" Why can't you do one selfish thing in your life Peeta Mellark?" She sighs after a few minutes of silences, shaking her head in what I assume to be disbelief.

" What do you mean?" I ask confused. I've felt pretty selfish and I had done selfish things many times in my life but I didn't see what that had to do with wanting to keep things how they had been.

" I leave without so much as a note. I never call, write or visit. I see you for the first time in six years today and I drop the largest bomb of your life on you on top of being so cold to you and you do this. You come to my rescue. You keep the loft, where we spent the first year of our marriage and the two years leading up to our marriage living exactly how I decorated it. I bet your house is even the exact same way as when I left. You probably never even thought of moving on or trying to find another girl worthy of the great Peeta Mellark, the boy with the bread, the one who could move any entire country with a few simple words and had people bending over backwards to please." She mutters.

" I couldn't. My heart still belongs to you Katniss, I can't help that my heart and soul still cling to you just as they have done since I was five years old. No matter how many times I'm told you've moved on, I can't help it. Yes, you weren't exactly the warmest person when we met this morning, but I've dealt with you under far worse circumstances. Our daughter I will admit was too much to just casually drop like that and it did make me angry for a moment to think you took and hide her away from me like this." I admitted slowly as I moved to stand beside her. " Katniss I can't be selfish with you, you're a free spirit and I can't tame a mockingjay anymore than I can tame fire, unfortunately you're both so there's never been a prayer of that. I've loved you for almost my entire life, I can't hate you if that's what you've been trying to make me do all these years. I look at these pictures every day and I don't regret them, I'm just incredibly thankful I got the time I did."

I look down at Katniss and see she's crying and when I reach up to wipe her tears, she pushes my hand away. " You can't love me this much. I heard you and Finncik. You are angry with me for keeping Pearl a secret from you even though I thought I was doing what was best. I saw the look on your face though when he told you what happened. You hated yourself for a second, admit it. I know you would have hated yourself more had you known at the time but that doesn't stop the betrayal does it?" She demands, looking up at me, searching my face.

" Yes I did hate myself a little bit when he told me but I understand now that you did what I would have had I been in your shoes. I would have understood had you told me, I wouldn't have liked it but I'm just going to have to deal with the decision you made and hope I can make up for my mistake." I admit before running my hands through my hair in frustration. " I'm trying to be nice Katniss. I will admit that when Finnick originally asked me to help I wasn't going to. When he explained everything and you showed up though, all my anger towards you disappeared. You did what you had to so you could protect our unborn baby. I can't blame you for that." I admit slowly, keeping my eyes locked on hers.

" That's what I'm talking about. Why can't you just kick me out on the street? Why couldn't you refuse Finnick? You owe him nothing, he's the one in debt to you. It's the same with the others too. It's the same for me. Why bring me up here to a place that was always so special and sacred to you? Why Peeta Mellark? Why?" She exclaims as she throws her hands up in anger and confusion.

" Why do you have to question everything, especially when the answer is jumping up and down, screaming in your face? Because I love you Katniss! I want to make up for what I did to you to drive you away. I want to know get to know my daughter. I want us, you and me, to be a thing again!" I shout, grabbing her shoulders.

She's really sobbing, her whole body shaking. She reaches out and grabs fistfuls of my shirt pulling me to her. She buries her face in my shoulder and I can't help but wrap my arms around her protectively. " Hate me Peeta, just hate me already! I can't stand that you still love me. If you hated me it would make things so much easier for me!" She exclaimed into my chest.

" There was a time I tried to Katniss, honest. I wanted to hate you when you left, but I couldn't because I still love you with every fiber in my being. Every cell in my body, every beat of my heart, every breath that I take screams for you. " I tell her with a heavy sigh.

" I hoped you have moved on. I wanted to come back here and hear stories of how you've married someone else, have kids, living the life you wanted with me just with someone more deserving." She whispers, pulling back to look up at me with such sad eyes. " Not even when I'm cruel to you can you stay at angry at me long… Can I say I'm sorry for how I acted earlier. You brought up my old memories, all the emotions I've tried to bury. I couldn't help it, I even just rushed through announcing you being Pearl's father so I'd have an excuse to leave so quickly because I knew Pearl would start crying or it would be awkward between us so I could excuse myself."

" Katniss you don't have to explain yourself. You're drunk and you need to rest." I tell her as I pull back, taking her by her wrists, leading her to the bed, having heard enough for one night and knowing that the answers I really want, I want from sober Katniss. She doesn't fight me and I'm able to get her easily situated on the bed. She curls up under the blankets on her old side of the bed and she looks like a little doll.

" Peeta please don't leave me." She whispered when I had stepped back to turn the light off and head down to the bakery. I had a couch in the kitchen that I had planned on sleeping on but the way she asked me, it melted my heart.

I turn the light off and move to my side of the bed, wrapping my arms tightly around her so she's pressed up against me. " Always." I murmur and I feel her relax. I can't help it as I start stroking her hair, knowing she's having no trouble finding sleep. " Oh Katniss what am I going to do with you?" I sigh softly, looking over her now and at the wall that contained so many pictures of us during happier and worse times but times we stood side by side none the less.

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><p><em>Thank you so much to everyone who's read this, reviewed it, added it or me to their favoritealert lists. This story will be updated probably about once or twice a week since I'm going to be handling it a bit different than I am my other two fanfics. Let's see if we can maybe get at least another 7 reviews and get to a total of 20 for this fanfic in the next couple of days? The third chapter is in the works already but PLEASE let me know what you think!_


	3. Baby Steps

_**Katniss**_

The walk of shame.

Wow that's something I never thought I'd ever associate with myself…

Here I am, twenty-eight, mother to one beautiful daughter and I'm being seen escaping my ex-husband's bakery where it's common knowledge that an apartment dwells over it. I'm getting odd looks and I can't help but blush deeply. I do my best not to flat out run to the safety of the hotel, but it's hard.

As soon as I'm in the hotel, I let out a sigh of relief. I didn't get caught by Peeta. I knew it was wrong to have just slipped away without saying anything, but I needed to think clearly. There was something about being with him now, especially after the night before, that made me just want to spill everything to him and yet shut down. I hid my emotions about him from everyone, ever since Pearl had been born I had tried so hard to not let others see how he still affected me.

I shook my head, trying to shake away my guilt and went to my room without another word. My mother was up, getting dressed and ready for the day and Prim was nowhere to be seen. Pearl was sound asleep on the bed I was sharing with her, looking just like me in her sleep. I look to my mother, silently asking where Prim was and why Pearl wasn't up yet, it was almost noon.

" Prim's out with Rory, he came to get her early this morning to go watch the sunrise and Pearl had a rough night. She kept waking up, wanting to see Peeta again and I thought you were going to be hung over this morning so I didn't bother to wake her yet." My mother explains as she braids her hair and glances over at me.

I nod and kick off my shoes. My mom and I still didn't have the greatest mother-daughter relationship but it had gotten better since I had moved in with her and Prim. " Thanks… I ate and drank a lot yesterday so I guess that helped me not be hung over today and I really didn't drink much last night, just enough to relax." I explain, moving to slip into the bed beside Pearl, feeling bad that the little girl had had a rough night too.

" Well that's good then… I still don't know why you acted the way you did yesterday." My mother muttered with a heavy sigh.

" He lied mother. Peeta had said he was going out of town and he's still here. Him being gone was the only reason I even agreed to come back to Twelve now. Had I known that Peeta was going to be here, Pearl and I would have said our good-byes another way or another day." I tell her as I roll on my side and start smoothing down Pearl's hair.

" I know and it's my personal opinion that it's a good thing he lied and stuck around to see you. You two have so much unfinished business, you still have so much to tell him and it's about time you stop hiding." She tells me, crossing her arms over her chest.

I roll my eyes at her. My mother still held onto the hope that I'd try to make things work with Peeta. " He knows about Pearl, Finnick let it slip why I left and I told him the truth about my feelings, there's nothing left unfinished now. I also haven't been hiding from him when you think about it, I've been in District Four and had ever visited, he would have known that." I challenge, hoping I've won but I never get what I want with her.

" Katniss Everdeen, we both know the truth. You can fool anyone else, but not me. You've been hiding from him all these years, afraid to face what happened and admit it was a mistake to leave, never contact him and hide your daughter. If you hadn't been hiding from him and not wanting to finish the things you two started then why did you Pearl the last name of _Everlark_?" She demands.

I frown a bit and stay silent.

" Had Finnick not suggested the name Everlark, you would have chosen a random last name to give her. You didn't want to give her a name that could be traced to Peeta but couldn't bring yourself to name her Everdeen. Lucky for you and her Finnick was quick enough to come up with a way to combine your last names, other than her eyes, there would have been no way to tell she was a Mellark. The name Pearl might be part of a memory of Peeta, but no one would know that without knowing how important that pearl was to you after the Quell. You really have gone out of the way to hide her father from her and everyone else in Panem!"

This angered me greatly, my mother could tell and just narrowed her eyes at me, challenging me to say something more. I bit my tongue though, knowing there was more to come for sure.

" You got so depressed when you had to leave Peeta, being pregnant was the only thing that kept you alive. You were so devastated after his attack and having to leave him that you clung to that little pearl at all times like it was the only thing keeping you grounded. You had anxiety attacks when Pearl started moving, you had to be sedated to keep from harming yourself or your unborn baby. When your water broke, the only way we could calm you down enough to get you to listen to us was to give you the pearl from Peeta. When she was born, that was the first time you had released that pearl from the death grip you had had on it for the first time in three days and even then you attached to Pearl for dear life. You named her after the pearl Peeta gave you but couldn't even imagine giving her his last name." My mom pointed out. " That little girl deserves to know her father who in turn deserves to know her. He deserves to know everything that's happened since you've left, he's such a good man Katniss! You can't keep carrying all these burdens. I hear you cry for him in the night, I see the redness in your eyes from tears, I know you still long for him. You can't keep this up Katniss. Apologize to him and just let your daughter get to know her father, she is after all his only living relative and one of only two Mellark's left on this planet." With that my mother stormed out of the room.

I hadn't thought about how Pearl was the only other Mellark in the world and his last living relative, his brothers, father and mother were dad and no one else had stepped forward to claim being a grandparent, cousin, aunt or uncle. He was alone.

I looked down at Pearl who was still sleeping and took a deep breath. I knew my mom was right, as much as I hated to admit it. I knew what I had to do and even though it wasn't going to be fun, I didn't have much of a choice.

I kiss Pearl's temple and she groans in her sleep. She's just like her father, hard to wake up. " Pearl, sweetie, it's time to get up. We have a big day today." I whispered, lightly shaking her.

" Not yet mommy…" She pleaded softly, her voice heavy with sleep.

I laugh softly and shake my head. " I'm sorry but you've sleep in late sweetling. Today is a big day. Today we're going to go talk to your daddy." I tell her and she starts to rub the sleep from her eyes. There's still two days until the funeral and I figured today was as good a day as any to try and make things right with Peeta. Baby steps would be smart to try and make up for him having to deal with me after drinking and leaving. Baby steps.

" We are? We're going to go see that an with same blue eyes as me with the pretty blonde hair?" She asks, her voice sounding full of hope.

" Yes… We're going to go to his house so you can meet him properly. Why don't you wear that pretty plaid dress and mommy'll braid your hair in the pigtails you love so much?" I suggest as I give her a smile, trying to hide my nervousness and unease.

She nodded and slipped out of bed. She started to dig through her suitcases for the dress that I had suggested while I went and took a quick shower. I threw on a pair of beige pants and a hunter's green shirt that hung loosely on my frame. I let my hair hang down in loose waves, allowing it to frame my face and make my grey eyes pop out.

I kept my promise to Pearl. She came into the bathroom in a red plaid dress that reached her calves, wearing red sandals. She looked beautiful in it. I braided her hair into two braids on either side of her head, it was something she liked. She twirled around for me, her favorite part of getting dressed and I admired her. I added the final touch to her perfect outfit, a necklace that hung down into her dress that was made up of a simple gold chain with the pearl from Peeta hanging from it.

She reminded me so much of Peeta although only her eyes and smile belonged to him physically. Pearl was a smooth talker however and able to charm her way out of trouble easier than any other child her age. It was hard not to love her and even harder for me to imagine life without her. She took a few steps back so she could give me an adorable, waiting for my words of approval to accompany my smile.

" You look lovely, your daddy's going to love you." I assure her, kissing her forehead.

" You really think so?" She asks softly, dropping her gaze to the floor.

" I'm certain… Now let's go." I tell her excitedly, taking her hand and leading her out of the hotel and into the warm summer air. The air here is drier than it is in District Four and it's a nice change for me but I know Pearl's not used to it.

We get several looks of surprise as we head through town. None of the lights were on anymore in the bakery and it was Sunday, the one day of the week Peeta never baked so I knew he had left the bakery already, probably not too long after I'd left because I wasn't convinced he had been completely asleep. I was certain he was at his house, or rather _our_ old home. Pearl asked a lot of questions about him and I just laughed, telling her to be patient. Peeta was too kind to toss us away from his home so I wasn't worried about him turning us down. I had seen the way his face had lit up with hope before he'd ran out on them the day before and the softness to his expression when Pearl had been mentioned. Peeta had been the one to want children, not me, and she had been so selfish as to take that away from him. He was certainly going to embrace this chance to be with Pearl since we were going to be leaving in a few days.

I grew more nervous as we started into Victor's Village, Pearl even seemed to calm down. The two of us fell silent and slowly approached the house Peeta and I had once occupied together, where Pearl should have grown up. I looked to Pearl for encouragement before knocking on the door, hearing Peeta within, talking to someone.

I heard him tell whoever it was to hang on a moment before opening the door. He held a phone in one hand and was shirtless, only in a pair of shorts that dropped just below the knee, his false leg a constant reminder of our time before the rebellion. He told whoever on the phone he'd call them back and hung up, his eyes never leaving my face. " You left without another word this morning." He whispers, hurt evident in his voice.

I blush a bit and drop my gaze. _' Damn him… I feel like a little girl with him!'_ I think with a small scowl, thinking back to when I would get in trouble and my father would give me a disappointed lecture, sounding hurt when he would accuse me of my misdeeds. " Sorry… I was worried about Pearl." I lie, it sounding natural and it was a realistic excuse in reality so he bought it without another word.

He nodded and looked down at Pearl who was trying to hide behind my leg. " Would you two like to come in? I was just about to start cooking up some lunch when Rory Hawthorne called me." He explained, looking up at me with a pleading smile. " I guess we have something to celebrate today."

I have no idea what there would be to celebrate today but I figured he'd tell me while we ate, no excuse to leave making itself known to me. " Sure, we would love to." I tell him as he moves aside and we step into the house, a gasp escaping my lips as I take it all in…

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><p><strong><em>Now that I have the major questions answered for the most part, I'm going to be slowing down so it shouldn't be so rushed feeling. I absolutely love all my reviews and how many alerts I've gotten of you guys adding me to your lists so please keep it up! I love hearing what you have to say about this story! That being said, please review, I love reading them!<em>**


	4. Flashback

_Disclaimer: I am not Suzanne Collins and thus do not own Hunger Games, if I did, you can bet a few things have turned out differently..._

_Sorry this took so long, not the chapter you're probably expecting, I decided to load this one up instead because I'm still trying to figure out a few details for the whole celebration thing, but please enjoy this flashback of Katniss'... I really love all your guesses for the reason of celebration though! I just love all my reviews in general and can't wait to see what you have to say about this chapter. Please excuse any of my errors, I don't have a Beta and I'm only human and miss mistakes when I re-read it..._

_Also I thought I would suggest a song to listen to while reading this. While writing this chapter, I thought of the song Breathe Again by Sara Bareilles and would suggest listening to it to add to the effect of this chapter..._

_Without anymore hesitation I present the chapter to you..._

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><p><em><strong>Katniss<strong>_

_I laugh as the phone rings, interrupting Peeta and I. He gives me a mischievous smile, ignoring it as we go back to our pillow fight., an inevitable event that happens every time we change the sheets. The phone continues and I yank the pillow away from him. " Go answer that Mellark." I tell him playfully, hiding the pillows behind my back._

_He sighs heavily and rolls his eyes. " Alright Mellark, but when I come back, we're going to finish this." He teases, kissing my cheek as he passes me, hurrying down to the kitchen._

_I laugh and shake my head. After two years of marriage, it's still hard for me to believe that I'm Katniss Mellark. What's even harder for me to wrap my mind around is the news I got from the doctor this morning when I went to get something for the stomach flu I've been dealing with for two days now._

_I walk over to the full length mirror in the corner of the room, lifting my shirt up to reveal my stomach. I smile a bit and run my hands over my flat stomach. Soon it won't be so smooth and flat, it'll be rounded, showing off the new life that Peeta and I have created in our short marriage. I never thought I wanted kids, but knowing that there's a baby growing within me makes me feel both afraid but excited. I couldn't believe that I had another human being growing within me, depending on me, I had a physical proof of my love for Peeta that was my soul responsibility for the next few months._

_I dropped my hands, hearing Peeta's heavy footsteps. I smiled, I wanted to surprise him. I was going to tell him about our baby tonight. I stripped slowly and just let my clothes go where they may, quickly jumping under the covers. " Ooooh Peeta." I sing playfully. " I have a surprise for you."_

_When Peeta moves into the doorway, I smile. It takes me a moment to notice he's not smiling as he normally does when I use my sing-song voice and he sees me in bed. I look at him closer and tremble slightly._

" _What. Are. You. Doing. In. My. Bed?" He demands. Each word seems forced as his breathing grows heavier. He has a twisted look of hate and disgust on his face, gripping on either side of the door frame. Peeta and I hadn't seen the point of keeping the door its hinges so the door to our bedroom was in the basement until further notice, a move I was really regretting. He hadn't had an attack with the two of us alone since before our wedding._

_I scramble out of the bed, grabbing a blanket to cover myself. " Peeta…. Whatever you're thinking, it isn't real." I plead as I start to slowly back up towards our attached bathroom._

" _So you're not a disgusting mutt, naked in my bed?" He snaps, stepping towards me._

_I flinch at his words. No matter how many times I hear the terrible things the Capitol makes him believe about me, but they still sting each time. He growls and I freeze, sucking in a deep breath. " I'm your wife Peeta. We've been married for almost two years." I whisper, trying to reason with him and get his true nature to return to me._

_He laughs as if it's the funniest thing on the world. " As if I would marry you. You are nothing more than a Capitol whore, a horrible creature created by the Capitol. I would never want, let alone marry a foul monster such as you." He snaps._

_His words catch me off guard. After everything he's called me over the years while in this trance like state, he's never been that cruel. Never once has he called me a whore. Tears come to my eyes and I drop a hand to my stomach, feeling like I'm going to vomit._

" _Awwwwe…. Has the slut had her feelings hurt? Does that strike a nerve? Slut. Whore. Skank. Prostitute. Easy. Hooker. These are all what you are, why not face the facts?" He sneers. He suddenly lunges at me and I don't have time to react._

_I don't have time to register his next move or dodge him before his fingers are around my neck and I'm slammed back against the wall. I gasp frantically for air, black blotches clouding my vision for a moment from how hard my head slammed against the wall. I claw at his hands and arms, trying desperately to get him to release me._

" _Peeta, stop!" I manage to scream. I know no one's coming for me. Effie and Haymitch were in the town square tonight to celebrate their anniversary, they would never be able to help me. I can't get away from Peeta, he's too strong._

_I try hard to fight him still. My knee comes up and gets him in the stomach. He coughs and loosens his grip on my throat long enough for me to get a huge breath of air. He grew angry with my hit to the stomach and brought his fist up, connecting it forcefully with my left temple. The world goes hazy and everything blurs together, his grip once more tightening on my throat._

" _Th-the ba-ba-bay…" I whisper as I hear a loud bang from downstairs and the world goes black. My last thought was how my poor baby never got a chance because of the Capitol…_

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><p>" <em>Haymitch… She doesn't look good." A familiar female voice whimpers.<em>

_This is odd. Why would she be on the other side or at least her voice? Are those her legs I feel under my head? This makes no sense…. I feel too real to be dead, isn't this supposed to be different?_

" _Her mother is trying to find a way to get here as soon as possible Effie… There's nothing we can do except hope she and the baby can pull through this. That kid got a couple of good shots to her head." Haymitch grumbles and I feel a hand press against my neck, obviously checking my pulse._

" _Haymitch, this isn't fair. I thought he was past this?" Effie whispers, a cool cloth caresses my face. There's a slight stinging and my breathing hitches. " I know this hurts hun…" She whispered, probably not knowing I was conscious enough to hear them._

_Haymitch moves my feet and I feel him sit at my feet, my legs easily swung over his lap. " Effie it's hard to tell with that kid. He's fine now, I took care of the cut in his head but he's going to have one hell of a headache when he wakes up." He mutters._

" _I wish you hadn't had to hit him with that bottle, that was a thick one." Effie sighed._

" _It was necessary. She's pregnant Effie… he would already have a hard time coping if he killed her but if he killed their baby, it would be the death of him." He explains._

_I can't take it anymore. I fight and slowly open my eyes, having to blink a few times to get all the stars from my vision. Effie and Haymitch both look pale and terrified as they look down at me. They look as if they've aged ten years since I saw them this morning upon leaving the doctor's office._

_I open my mouth to try and speak, but Effie places a finger against my lips to stop me. " Don't… Your neck is badly bruised and I'm sure your throat is killing you." She said softly, almost sounding like my mother._

_I nod slowly. As I take an inventory of my body, I realize she's right. My head is killing me, it's a throbbing and stinging. My throat feels like there's something stuck in it and it's only then that I realize it burns to breathe and my body's been forcing it without my realization. My whole body ached and there was a tight feeling in my stomach, panic hit me right away. My hands quickly reached down to my stomach and I looked up at Effie, my eyes pleading with her to know the truth._

_She took a deep breath and carefully ran a hand through my hair, a motion meant to be soothing but actually made me extremely nervous. " We don't know… There was a little bit of blood, I had to change your clothes, but you're still bleeding. It isn't very much but we don't know what's happening or happened." She tells e slowly._

_I close my eyes, tears coming to them. I didn't know if my baby was safe, in distress or gone and it hurt more than any of my physical pain or discomfort. A sob shakes my body and Effie tries to soothe me with words to no avail._

" _Sweetheart… I don't think you've actually lost the baby, there's still hope. You need to be safer. You can't go risking your life like that. You can't fight him when he's like that." Haymitch tells me, patting my leg._

_I nod and don't bother looking up at him. I feel like my heart is breaking as his words sink in. He's right. I don't know for sure I lost the baby and the baby deserves a chance. There's no telling what'll cause attacks like this one and out baby would never be able to fight him. I would put the baby's life above my own and I would gladly accept whatever punishment Peeta saw fit in that state in order to spare our child from it. This no longer was about Peeta and I, I had to think about our baby._

" _Your mom is trying frantically to find a way to get here tonight, she said she'd call when she found a train and is going to be on her way." Haymitch told me as he gave me a serious look._

_I shake my head, not a smart move since my head hurts so bad and it makes me feel nauseous. I need to do this now though, while I'm sure of myself. " N-no." I croak. I'm amazed by the pain speaking sends through me, but I absolutely have to do this. " I'll go to Four. Alone." I rasp, struggling to get the words out. If my heart had broken at the thought of losing my new baby or the hate in Peeta's eyes and words, this was the true death of me._

_Haymitch and Effie look at me as if I've grown a second head and I would normally feel uneasy, but under the circumstances I can't show even a flicker of hesitation or doubt. " Katniss…" Effie whispers pleadingly. I know she doesn't want to see Peeta and I tore apart, if anything, she's always been our biggest supporter and fan in her own way._

" _I-I can go to-tonight, be-before he wa-wakes up. He do-doesn't need to kn-know. Ca-call a ca-car, tra-train and my mo-mom." I tell them I sit up slowly, swinging my legs down so they're planted firmly on the ground._

_Effie and Haymitch exchange a nervous look before Haymitch throws his hands up in defeat. " I can't stop you sweetheart. It breaks my heart to see you two fall apart over this, but I can't make the decision for you. I'll go make a couple of calls, Effie why don't you do fetch her a bag of clothes. We'll patch you up enough so you're not bleeding all over the train and we'll pull your hood over your face so you can't be identified." He told me going to the kitchen. Effie has tears in her eyes as she nods and gets up, going upstairs._

_I just sit there, staring at the fire dying in the fireplace before me. It's a struggle to breathe, but not from my injury but because of what I'm about to do. Peeta's either going to never know I was pregnant or he's never going to know his child. I couldn't risk our child's life just for my own selfish need to have him. I would have to talk with Plutarch to keep things under the radar and get Effie or Haymitch to help me get papers for a divorce or at least for one of them to get him to sign them. I knew he wasn't going to sign them easily but he was going to have to do it._

_I wasn't sure how I was going to make it without him. I look to my left hand, a Capitol tradition of wearing a wedding ring had been forced upon us by Effie. Atop a gold band sat the pearl he had given me during the Quarter Quell, inside he'd had the simple word ' always' inscribed. It felt heavy on my hand and as more sobs forced their way out of me, I struggled to get it off. Using my knife, I pried the poor little gem from the band and threw the ring into the fire, not caring what happened to it. I close my eyes and rock slowly forwards and back, the pearl my only hope to make it until morning._

_Effie glides down the stairs after I don't know how long. Haymitch joins shortly after. Effie places two bags by the front door before sitting beside me. Haymitch watches out the window and takes a deep breath. " A train leaves in ten minutes, a car is on its way now to get you. Annie and Finnick will be waiting at the station in Four to take you to the hospital right away. Doctors are going to be waiting for you there, your mom and Prim have gathered a couple they trust to not leak anything about your condition. Gale's on his way as well to Four, he'll get there shortly after you, I figured you'd like to have your best friend with you." Haymitch says in a firm voice._

_I nod and take a deep breath to try and calm myself. I don't know what I'm going to do. He's everything to me. He holds my heart in the palm of his hand, I can't breathe when he leaves the room. I feel so weak and tiny without him, I really was nothing without him. I was a pathetic excuse for a human being without him by my side to help me through the day. All I need is Peeta or else I'm nothing…_

" _You don't have to do this Katniss… You don't have to leave forever." Effie told me as she wrapped arn arm around me and started to rub my shoulders._

_Was it that obvious what I was going to be doing?_

_I don't say anything though, I know she's right. I could come back, Peeta'll get treatments. I couldn't do this to him though. This baby and whatever happens to it is my burden alone. I wasn't fast enough to get away or smart enough to see the signs so I needed to take sole responsibility. Peeta didn't need to blame himself._

" _Car's here." Haymitch says softly, looking to me._

_I nod and stand up slowly, feeling dizzy. Effie catches me and steadies me. She helps me down the front steps as Haymitch packs my bags in the car. They climb in the car with me and I look back at the porch as we drive away. The glow of the front light makes it look so warm and welcoming. I truly don't want to leave. I want to still live there with Peeta, trying to be normal but what kind of life would we have now, one way or another?_

_I hang my head, feeling the last bit of my heart shatter into a million little pieces. Haymitch lifts my head and starts to bandage my face up a bit and I distract myself as I make a silent vow to myself. I will never stop loving Peeta Mellark. He may hate me, but I will never love another or move on from him, no matter the outcome from tonight's events. I place my hand on my stomach where the cramps are radiating from, never will I fall in love with anyone who is not my blonde hair, blue eyed boy with bread._

_The car ride is short and when we arrive, Haymitch pulls my hood over my head, tying it so it won't fall down. He buys my ticket and Effie helps me get situated in a sleeper compartment. It'll be a fairly short trip to Four, no stops and the late trains always go the fastest. No one will disturb me in the sleeper train so I can grieve my loss of Peeta and the possibility that my baby is gone or damaged._

_My goodbyes are short and I promise to call once I can but someone will call them once I arrive. I tell them I'll see them soon and they promise that it won't be long before we are together, one way or another. They both wish me luck before getting off the train and waving goodbye. The saddest sight wasn't watching my mentor and only real parental figures waving goodbye as District Twelve disappeared, it was not seeing Peeta one last time before leaving the house because I also promise myself I'll never see him again._


	5. Burden

_**I am not Suzanne Collins, nor have I ever been or will be. I don't own the Hunger Games nor will I ever.**_

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><p><em><strong>Katniss<strong>_

I'm a horrible person.

" The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want."

Truly despicable.

" He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. "

The lowest of the low.

" He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake."

Scum of the Earth.

" Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

Those are all good ways to describe me right now and even they are too kind for me.

" You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows."

I don't deserve to even be called a human, I'm nothing more than the unfeeling mutt that Peeta accused me of time and time again.

" Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." The speaker concludes, finishing the ancient passage that Effie had had read at her funeral and Haymitch had requested for his own.

I don't pay attention to him, my eyes are glued on the man standing directly across from me. His blue eyes are looking sadly into my teary grey eyes. I instinctly pull Pearl closer to me as I feel her trembling and hear more sobs escape her. She turns to bury her face in my stomach as they lower Haymitch's casket into the hole. I close my eyes, at last breaking contact with Peeta's eyes as I say my silent goodbyes.

" Haymitch Abernanthy, dearly loved friend, protective mentor, stubborn fighter, tender grandfather and passionate husband. He will be missed by many. He follows his parents and wife, Effie Trinket-Abernanthy, into the afterlife. He leaves behind two adopted children, Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen and a granddaughter, Pearl Everlark. I know I speak for everyone when I say that Panem has suffered a terrible loss." The speaker says closing the book in his hand. " Goodbye Haymitch and good luck in the next chapter of your journey."

With that the speaker steps down from his podium and people begin to shuffle around. Some stop and lay a comforting hand on my shoulder, congratulating me on Prim's situation, others complimenting Pearl and saying her father is a lucky man but all offer their condolences and assistance should I need any kind. I just nod, thanking them as I run a hand soothingly up and down Pearl's back. She's sobbing uncontrollably even though she doesn't fully understand what's happening, only that this is our final farewell to her grandpa Haymitch.

Yesterday had been a day of celebration for most, Prim and Rory had announced they had gotten married in the very early hours of the morning and quickly followed that announcement with she telling everyone that she was pregnant. Peeta had been the one to drop the bomb during out little breakfast and I had dashed from his house with Pearl without saying anything. Since then I had been numb. I hadn't said anything to anyone aside from the few thanks and I knew I had some explaining to do to Peeta.

" Catnip, Posy is ready to take Pearl." Gale whispers, gripping my shoulder tightly in a way that draws me from my internal thoughts.

I sniffle and nod slowly. It's traditional that Pearl and the boys spend our last night in District Twelve with Posy, Delly and Delly's little brother, Posy's husband, Jimmi. Normally this was so that Johanna, Gale, Finnick and I could drink with Haymitch, thus allowing Effie, my mom, Annie and Prim not to have to worry about us adults and the children. Tonight Gale, Finnick, Annie and I were going to sort through some of the important things in Haymitch's house since it had turned out he had left everything to Pearl and I. We also intended to break into his storage of liquor he kept in his basement for when our happy group would visit. We thought it would be a nice way to pay our respects to him by playing his favorite drinking game and one that we all loved so much.

I kneel down and wrap my arms tightly around Pearl, kissing her temple softly. " You be good for your aunts and uncle, you hear?" I whisper, knowing she will because she's always a good girl and well mannered.

She sniffles and pulls back, nodding as she wipes at her nose. My heart is breaking to see my little girl crying and I wipe at her tears, trying to give her a small smile. " Mommy, why did grandpa and grandma have to move to that far away District?" She chokes out between heavy sobs.

My sad attempt of a smile quickly disappears and I take a deep breath. " That's what everyone does Pearl… One day mommy and all your aunts and uncles will go there too, so will your grandma's Everdeen and Hawthorne. One day even you will have to move sweetling, it is how life works." I whisper. The best way I had been able to explain to her what had happened to Effie was to tell her that she had moved to a whole new District that was too far away for us to visit, it had worked so I had used it again for when I had to break the news about Haymitch.

Pearl's eyes go wide and fresh tears come to them. " No! Please don't move! I don't wanna move either!" She shrieks and throws her arms around my neck. Several people stop to look at us, but I don't care. My daughter is in distress and all I want to do is make her happy again.

I pull her closer against me and bury my face in her hair, inhaling her familiar scent of vanilla and sea salt. " Don't worry baby girl, no one's going to move anytime soon, promise." I tell her honestly. I know it's not a promise I can make exactly but everyone in our little unorthodox family was healthy and happy, for all I knew it was trued that no one was going to move any time soon.

She nods and slowly pulls back after a few minutes of struggling to gain control of herself once more. I look up at Gale who holds his arms out for Pearl. She quickly moves into them, allowing him to pick her up in one arm and rest against his hip like a toddler. " I'll meet you at the house." He tells me, squeezing my shoulder reassuringly before taking off with Johanna and the boys for Posy's house.

I stand and dust off my knees, refusing to look up from the ground as I hear a familiar throat clearing. This is just what I need to make my day even more perfect. I'm saying good bye to my mentor and father figure, my daughter is an uncontrollable mess of sadness and I'm weighted down with guilt on top of regret and sadness. _' I don't need to too, I already feel guilty enough as it is…'_ I think miserably and just pray that karma will be done with me, all caught up and having nothing more to punich me for.

" I remember telling you a long time ago that you were going to be a great mother. That little display, helping out Pearl, that just proves it Katniss. You are a great mother, truly and honesty." Peeta murmurs, sounding almost in awe.

" Yes well, I've had Annie and Prim to help me out along the way… A lot actually if I'm being perfectly honest." I whisper, slowly looking up at him.

" It's more than that… Why did you leave yesterday Katniss? I thought you were giving me a chance to redeem myself?" He asks, pain coating his voice. Apparently telling me I was a good mother was his way of breaking the ice before diving into the hard topic. Had to hand it to him, he still knew how to get his way in a conversation…

Guilt weighs heavily as his words sink in. I don't want him to know the truth. Not yet. " Peeta, it's no new story. Like everything else in our relationship, it's complicated and you wouldn't understand." I tell him, knowing it's not enough and he'll want to know it all. It's true however, nothing about our relationship has ever been easy, everything has to be so complicated between us. We can never catch a break it appears.

He grabs my shoulders firmly and looks at me, hurt. " Katniss _help_ me to understand, please. I've been trying ever since I woke up alone. I've done everything I can to try and make things better so you could come home. I call your mom every year on our anniversaries and on your birthday just in the hopes she'd tell me you were there or tell me how to get a hold of you. I went through so many therapy sessions, I even had a dangerous, experimental surgery to help cure me of the venom! Yes I lied when I called about the funeral, but can you blame me? I still love you Katniss. I still want you to be my wife, I dream of waking up with you sleeping on my chest every morning, hearing you sing softly as you do the dishes and hold you close as we warm up by the fire on cold nights. Now you've come back and tell me I have a daughter and all I can picture is us raising her together! She needs a father, her father, me and I need her Katniss! I can't live without you two again! Please, I am begging you now more than ever Katniss, tell me what to do!" He pleads, his voice so honest and shaky I can't help but break down.

I pull away from him and run away from the cemetery, to Haymitch's house. I can't deal with all the emotions coursing through me. I pick up a lamp and throw it across the room without a second thought, a cry of pain ripping from my chest. I stumble to the kitchen and find forty bottles of white liquor sitting on the table, Finnick and Annie had already organized the alcohol. I grab a bottle and quickly force down some large gulps before slamming open a random cupboard. I find plates within, not the fine china Effie loved so much thankfully so it will do. I start grabbing them at random and throwing them in the ground, taking comfort in their shattering.

Heavy sobs choke me as they freely slip from me as freely as the tears cascading down my cheeks. I feel like my life is like the plates. One moment I'm in great condition, my life is whole and complete, making me believe that it's beautiful and perfect. The next, someone comes barging back into my life, throwing everything to Hell and I'm left with nothing but a shattered mess on the floor. Nothing remains but tiny slivers of an existence that once was. I sink to my knees as this sets in, fighting to breathe and starting to feel light headed. I take more large gulps of the liquor, it burns on the way down and warms me to my core, almost too warm to be comfortable, but is helping to aid me in growing numb again.

" Katniss what happened?" Finnick's voice breaks through my depressed mind.

I snap my head up and look at him, Annie is clinging to his side, trembling and they're both out of breath and red in the face, obviously having ran after me. Finnick takes a careful step towards me and I'm guessing by the way he acts and Annie hangs back, I look wild and extremely unstable.

' _Not the first time they've seen me like this.'_ I think bitterly and choke down more of the alcohol. I don't know how Haymitch was able to drink so much of this stuff, it's disgusting and suffocating. I grimace and see the worry in Annie and Finnick's eyes. I know I'm going to get an ear full from them about this, it's been a while since my outbursts and here I am, crumbling to pieces just when I seemed to be in the clear. This just further fueled my knowledge that Peeta was the one Pearl deserved, not me. I am a lousy mother, not even Peeta could convince me otherwise.

" Katniss, talk to us please. Help us understand what's going on here. You can't relapse, Haymitch and Effie wouldn't want that to happen." Finnick coos. Damn him to Hell for being an actual good guy and really caring about me!

I struggle to breathe, hiccupping and gasping. " It's not fair!" I force out, not sure if it's the alcohol or my inability to care anymore that's making me open up now.

" What's not fair?" He asks curiously as he stops, watching me carefully.

" Peeta… Pearl… Prim and Rory… You and Annie… Gale and Johanna… Haymitch and Effie dying… None of it is!" I sob, looking down at the bottle in one hand, my other hand wrapped tightly around the edge of a plate, ready to break it too, right along with my heart.

" Katniss…. What do you mean?" Annie whispers.

I'm trembling, each sob hurting my chest but I can't stop them. " Peeta and I had been to Hell and back! We were supposed to be married forever, spend the rest of eternity together! I lost a baby in the Quarter Quell, Pearl was supposed to be the baby we finally got to raise together! He was supposed to hold my hand as I brought her into the world, be by my side through the whole nine months, he was supposed to help me raise her! Prim will have that now with Rory. Johanna has that with Gale. Annie has you for that. Pearl has me, only ever me! God awful and cursed me! She deserves Peeta in her life, not me!" I shout, hiccupping more frequently as Finnick approaches me, kneeling down before me. " While I've been trying to raise my daughter free of pain and without the worry of her father, he's been trying to win me back!" It all comes rushing out and I drop the plate, letting it softly clatter to the ground.

" It's my fault I lost the first baby, I blew up the arena and didn't stop to think of the consequences. Peeta's first baby never had a chance to even live before it was ripped away by my stupidity. Peeta wanted the children, not me but when I learned of Pearl and thought I lost her as well, all I could think about was how I didn't want to. I wanted Peeta's second baby to have a fighting chance I wasn't willing to take the risks and stay with Peeta. I hid her from him her entire life, I took away the one thing in life he wanted more than me. I left him alone, no note, no phone call, no goodbye, nothing! I'm a terrible person. Pearl is going to realize that in time and she's going to hate me, Peeta will too when I leave in the morning with Pearl and I will spend the rest of my days alone, paying further for my crimes against humanity and causing so many to suffer." I continue to explain. What I'll never admit out loud is how I believed the three days I spent in labor with Pearl was me getting exactly what I deserved, the beginning of my bad deeds catching up to me.

" Katniss… Do you really feel so badly about all of that?" Finnick asks as he stares at me with wide eyes. I never said anything like this out loud before, especially in front of kind and permanently optimistic, happy-go-lucky Finnick Odair.

I nod and take another swig from the bottle in my hand. " Yes Finnick, how can I not?" I demand, starting to feel the alcohol swirl around in my head.

" Katniss you did what you had to protect everyone and help Peeta." He tells me in a soft tone.

" Who's benefitted though? Not Pearl who's had to grow up without her incredible father. Not you guys who have had to on occasion take Pearl when I can't bring myself to get out of bed. Not Prim who's had to help me every step of the way to raise my daughter. Not Peeta who instead of moving on with his life, blamed himself and has worked so hard to win me back when I haven't given him even two seconds to even fully explain the situation. Tell me Finnick, who's benefitted from all of this?" I ask, reaching up to wipe at my tears. " I'm nothing but a burden on society and especially you all. I should have just let Snow kill me or Johanna all those times she threatened…" I murmur this last part mostly to myself.

" Is that really what you think Katniss? Do you not think that we've all wanted to help you and are nothing but happy that you're still alive? That even Johanna is happy?" Annie asks timidly.

Before I can answer her, several people stumble into the house. Pollux and Delly are holding hands and are followed by Gale who has a tight grip on Rory's shoulders and Johanna dragging Peeta. I frown deeper as they all freeze, taking in the scene before them. I could almost kiss Delly though as she clears her throat.

" Well Katniss, it seems you've already started the party!" She gushes with a giggle, kissing Pollux's cheek before coming over to me. " Well that's not fair! We need to get this cleaned up before we start drinking and you need to get sober and cleaned up before we do this too, you shouldn't have such a vast lead on us!" She exclaims, grabbing my hands and helping me to my feet.

Now I remember why I love Delly so much.

" Annie and Delly there's some spare clothes for her in the guest room, why not get her showered while I make some coffee and help get the questions and actions figured out?" Johanna suggests. Delly and Annie both eagerly agree and they escort me upstairs like a child.

I catch a glimpse of Peeta who looks defeated. _' Oh this is going to be a long night…'_ I think miserably as I drop my gaze and let them take me up without a fight.

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><p><strong><em>Alright, so I choose to blame the season finale of the Vampire Diaries for this chapter, it made me cry, like a baby and in turn inspired me to write this (mostly because of poor Damon...). I'm sorry it took me so long to update, I just had a lot of stuff come up... Thank you all for my wonderful interviews and to all my incredible readers! I hope this chapter was worth it and be prepared for some more fun because the next chapter, things get a little rough... Also I'm going add a quick plug for my two best friends <span>Aristaline<span> and TaquetoCagy, go and check out there stories because they're pretty awesome!  
><em>**

**_Next chapter is going to be from Peeta's PoV._**


	6. Games

_Can I just say how much I love boyfriends who can look at your computer for less then five minutes and fix it? My computer's fixed again so yay for updates!_

_This author's note is here at the beginning to let you guys know as a bit of a warning that there is a part of this story that can be considered a bit raunchy. It's not smut or anything like that but they are playing a drinking game and a personal question does get asked of the girls... Sorry if it's a bit much for some but it does have some importance for later on in the story. Enjoy this update and let me know as always what you think!_

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><p><em><strong>Peeta<strong>_

While Katniss was being taken care of upstairs, Finnick, Pollux, Gale and Johanna had their heads together, working on something and Rory and I were left to clean up the kitchen. I hadn't even wanted to come, but Johanna had forced me to come by threats of blackmail and violence. If there was anything scarier than a determined Johanna Mason, it was a pregnant,determined Johanna Hawthorne with dirt on you.

With all the glass picked up Rory and I leaned against the counter. He didn't want to be here either but both Prim and Gale had insisted he have one last night of fun. He frowned deeply as he watched the three conspirators. " This isn't going to be good." He mutters, shaking his head.

I look up at him in fearful confusion. " What do you mean?" I demand, already contemplating how I would be able to sneak away. My chances were zero to none, but a man could dream right?

" You really haven't played this before?" Rory asked, his eyes going wide.

I was really starting to regret not fighting harder about not coming. " No… Katniss and I never played card games together or drank. We hadn't wanted anything we might regret and the two seemed to go hand-in-hand with that..." I admit, starting to feel my pulse quicken in absolute terror of what could possibly happen. I glance back to the four figures huddled around the table talking in hushed tones, suddenly feeling like I'm back in the arena.

" Oh well, that's just great for you then." He laughed, patting my shoulder in a sympathetic gesture. " It's simple. You share a deck of cards with your partner, flip the card and take a shot. Each card corresponds with something you'll have to do or a question you must answer honestly. Some cards effect the entire group, others you and your partner or just yourself. They're over there figuring out what's going to happen with each card but ultimately it comes down to what the reader wants." He explained.

" Alright… That doesn't sound too hard." I admit slowly as I scratch the back of my neck. I can survive one drinking game right? " Who's the reader?"

" Johanna… My sister-in-law can't drink, she's pregnant obviously and Gale would kill anyone who let her even consider it. She's in charge of telling us what's going to happen. Right now they're coming up with suggestions really, when Johanna reads, she _never_ goes by the list." Rory snickered.

And once again I'm back in the arena just like that...

I don't have time to panic though, the girls are coming down the stairs, Katniss is now in a dress. She's still not smiling but Annie and Delly look at more ease. They lead Katniss to the table in the living room where the others are huddled and Rory and I take this as our cue. We grab a couple bottles of the liquor, grabbing various types of wines, beers and hard stuff. I grabbed a bag of shot glasses off the counter as well and we handed them to the others who arranged everything around the coffee table as we were divided into ' teams'.

It turns out that I'm here to replace Johanna so I'm paired up with Gale. Delly is taking Effie's place and as a combined effort Pollux and Rory are taking the place of Haymitch so the three of them are a team. Pollux will take shots, flip cards and do most actions while Rory will take shots and answer the questions. Katniss is on her own so while the rest of us are sharing a pack of deck between two players, she has an entire deck to herself. Her signature scowl had crossed her lips, but Johanna had just snickered.

Finnick and Annie started the game off so Gale and I would be last. Annie flipped the card since the ladies flipped the cards first, then the next go around guys would. Annie turned over the Ace of Hearts and took her shot that Finnick had poured for her. We all looked to Johanna who was smiling evilly. This _was not_ a good way to start out a game…

" Alright ladies… You have to spill about your first times. Who were they with, where and when as well as rating it on a scale of one to ten." Johanna gushed, looking at out group expectantly as she walked around the circle. " Also since aces are considered face cards, ladies must all take a shot before answering!"

Annie and Katniss were blushing deeply and looked uncomfortable. Annie took another shot that Finnick poured for her. She looked down at the table and took a deep breath. " It was with Finnick… On my Victory Tour in District Twelve actually. I guess I'd have to rate it as maybe a six or seven…" She whispered, her blush growing ever deeper.

Johanna and most of the guys laughed, Gale leaned over to pat Finnick's back in a sympathetic gesture as Rory teased Finnick about only getting a six or seven for the first time. Finnick just shook his head and declared that now Annie was experiencing nights that were beyond the scale making Gale and Rory scoff, Polluz even rolled his eyes along with Johanna and Katniss. Rory poured Delly her shot though so everyone looked at her intently, quickly forgetting about Finnick and Annie.

Delly didn't seem bashful at all as she downed her shot. " Wheaton Mellark, the day of the feast during the seventy-fourth games. While the rest of the Mellarks went to watch the feast in the square, Wheaton and I snuck back into his room to try and get our minds off the games… He definitely was an eight." She admitted with a soft laugh. I'm stunned to hear this since Wheaton never mentioned it and always treated Delly like an annoying little sister. Delly looks up at me with a sheepish smile. " Sorry Peeta." She whispered looking up at me sadly.

I laugh and shake my head. Leave it to my oldest brother to sleep with a girl while I was fighting for my life as well as manage to get a high rating then Finnick…

Next Gale fills Katniss' shot glass and she's hesitant to dink. She's shaking a little as she raises the small glass to her lips and tips it back. " Six weeks before the Quarter Quell I snuck over to Peeta's and the two of us got caught up. It's never exactly been a secret since everyone knows I got pregnant that night." She muttered, a deep blush coming to her cheeks. " I guess when I think about it, I've got to rate it a ten. It was one of the best times of my life." She whispers, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips as I smile a bit too, amazed by her answer.

Everyone's silent and no one really looks at Katniss or I and Katniss refuses to look at me. There's no grins or jokes made by the others, it even takes Johanna filling my glass to get any movement. I look at Johanna in confusion and she just shrugs. " You're taking my spot so you're playing the role of a girl." She explained with a wicked grin.

I groan and know better than to argue with her. I take my shot quickly, knowing for sure this is going to be a very long game and even longer night. " Same as Katniss. My house, six weeks before the Quell, Katniss, baby, best night of my life, ten…" I mutter and shake my head.

Luckily after my response Finnick is quick to start the game for the men. He takes his shot and gets told he has to strip down to his boxers for all of us. He smirks and gets up quickly, seeming entirely all too happy and comfortable with this action. He dances around for us as he strips, tossing his clothes way and that. Katniss squeals with laughter as he tossed his pants at her and she'd caught them, making Delly laugh harder.

" Good God Annie, it's no wonder you two had a baby so soon! If he's always like that, it's a wonder you two haven't had a third baby!" Delly teased, making Annie laugh a bit more.

" Well we are talking about baby number three…" Annie mused as she tugged Finnick back down beside her, much to everyone's amusement.

" Well if you're anything like Jo and I, you'll have yourself another baby by the end of the night." Gale speaks up, casting Johanna a playful look and winking.

Everyone laughs except me when Johanna sticks her tongue out at Gale and flips him off. Rory notices and leans across the table. " The only two times Johanna's played this game for actual fun and not to drink everyone under the table, they got Elm and this newest baby." He explained, earning him a hit upside the head from Johanna.

I laughed a bit and nodded despite myself and Johanna orders Pollux to flip his card so we can keep going. He flips a King of Hearts. Johanna simply tells us that all the men have to take two shots. Gale, Finnick, Rory and Pollux happily take the shots and each happily keeps their mouths shut.

Katniss is instructed to flip a card as well, she'll have to flip for the girls and the boys turns. She rolls her eyes and takes a shot before flipping over Four of Spades. Johanna snickers and places four shot glasses before her, already over her anger towards Gale.

" Looks like you'll be taking four shots miss Everdeen." She told Katniss. Kantiss and I both flinched when she called Katniss by her maiden name though I'm not quite sure why we both did.

Gale filled up all four glasses with a drink called Tequila. Katniss' nose is scrunched up, her whole face displaying a look of distaste. She plugs her nose even as she knocks back all four shots. She chokes and shakes her head as a shiver rips through her.

" I hope that wherever Haymitch is, he's being punished for buying such a terrible liquid." She chokes, Gale having to pat her on the back to help it go down.

" Wherever he is, he's probably laughing his ass off, sorry Catnip." Gale chuckles.

" Oh go screw yourself." Katniss snaps getting more laughter from the group. Even I can't help but laugh.

It goes like that. Gale ends up having to spill about one of his 'naughtiest' fantasies which has Johanna almost fuming and as punishment, she makes both Gale and I take five shots of the tequila. I have to agree with Katniss, it's terrible.

I begin to notice that the more we drink the raunchier the questions and actions. Poor Delly is so much a light weight however that she is the first to give in, Pollux and Rory joining soon after to take her home and so Rory can get back to Prim. Annie and Finnick are the next to leave, Finnick whispering something in Annie's ear that made her giggle and blush before tugging him away from the table.

Gale, Katniss and I opt to just sit around the table and quietly drink while Johanna helps get Annie and Finnick upstairs since the two are so drunk they can't stay upright. I don't even think about how much I've drank or am drinking; all I know is that there's so much going on in my head. I'd learned more about Katniss and what's happened since she'd left.

She hadn't slept with anyone else or attempted to date. She still was in love with her first love. She was happy being single and she wanted to have another child possibly in the future. All of those helped boost my confidence when it came to her.

Maybe that's what spurred my reaction once Johanna finally dragged Gale out of the house…

I looked at Katniss as she lays sprawled out on the ground, eyes closed. She hums softly as she twirls a few loose strands of hair around on her finger. She looks incredible. Her hair is a bit messy, falling out of her braid in places, her skin is pale and glows in the soft lighting of the candles left that Johanna had insisted on a while ago. Her dress has risen a bit higher on her thigh, revealing her breathtaking legs that seem to go on forever. A smile teases the corner of her lips, turning them up slightly and she just looks peaceful.

This is the Katniss I love.

" Peeta… You're staring." Katniss teases, chuckling softly.

Maybe it's my current drunken state, but it almost sounds like angels singing. I feel bad that I've been caught however and feel my cheeks color slightly. I drop my gaze and rub the back of my neck nervously.

" Sorry, it's hard not to stare at you. I've missed you." I murmur, waiting for her to lash out at me. I actually hold my breath even and it's not until she chuckles softly that I relax again

" I know the feeling… It's hard for me not to stare at you. You have hardly changed at all. Maybe a few more lines around your eyes and lips from smiling and laughing, your eyes look older, wiser, but other than that, you're the same Peeta Mellark I fell in love with." She sighs.

I look at her again to see her studying me intensely. " You haven't changed a bit however Katniss. You still every bit as young and beautiful to me as the day I married you." I whisper before lying down beside her and closing my own eyes, my head starting to spin.

" You always know what to say Peeta Mellark… You are the cheesiest man on the planet." She giggles.

I can't help but laugh a little myself. " I suppose that's true, how else would I have ever gotten you to marry me?" I tease, enjoying myself as it becomes clearer just how wasted I am and how little I'll actually remember tomorrow.

" Just by being incredibly good looking." She laughs before snuggling up against me.

I instinctually wrap my arms around her and pull her closer to me. She rests her head on my chest and I take a deep breath, breathing in as much of her woody scent as I can. " If only it were that easy… If it were, I'd ask you to marry me again and beg you to give me a second chance." I whisper, running my fingers through her hair slowly, undoing her braid and allowing her beautiful hair to curl down naturally.

Katniss picks up her head and I open my eyes quickly, ready to beg her not to leave me, afraid that I went too far. Instead I find her gazing at me lovingly which causes my heart to skip a beat.

" Peeta, I would marry you again in a heartbeat. I still love you. I've never stopped loving you. We've been through so much though and it's like the universe is trying to keep us apart… The second I get a sign that says we're supposed to be together though, I'm going to jump on it. I will marry you again that day and you and I will raise our beautiful daughter together as husband and wife again." She whispers, her voice serious and I can tell it's a promise she'd want to keep should either of us remember it in the morning.

I reach up a hand to rest it lightly against her cheek, holding her gaze. " I look forward to that day Katniss." I tell her softly before pulling her face down to mine so I can kiss her passionately, putting everything into the kiss that I possibly can.

She doesn't pull away from the kiss so I keep it up, not caring what happens tonight because I'm with the woman I love and the wonderful mother of my incredible daughter. She is the one I want to live the rest of my life with no matter what, I just have to make her see that…


	7. Done

**_OK so quick authors note here and at the end because if I don't do this now then I'm likely to forget… Thank you so much to one of my best friends Aristaline! When I got stuck trying to figure out how to explain Pearl's last name of Everlark, it was her idea to pin it all on Finnick because that's really the sort of thing he'd take pride in. Thanks whole bunches Aristaline!_**

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><p><em><strong>Peeta<strong>_

_Katniss is fast asleep and I'm still wide awake. It's been a couple of hours since our interviews and the party outside is starting up at last, obviously Snow has already done his damage control. I hold Katness to me tightly, one hand resting on her stomach, running up and down the flat surface slowly._

_Normally this would mean nothing but tonight, it means everything to me. My hand was currently resting over my son or daughter. A piece of me, my love for Katniss, was growing within her at this very moment. When I had announced at the interview that Katniss was pregnant, I had no idea it was actually true. Katniss had told me just after we had gotten back and we retired to bed. We weren't married, but we had a baby on the way._

_This comforted me. Katniss would always have me with her because all she would have to do is look at the child to know that my love for her was true, as real as it could be. Even when I was dead and gone, Katniss would still have our beautiful child. She wasn't very far along, but far enough along that I knew I would do anything for it. I was giving up my life so he or she could have chance at life._

_I couldn't help but imagine the baby. He or she would probably have my blonde hair but I hoped that it would have Katniss' beautiful stormy grey eyes. I imagined the infant would have her sweet smile but also her fierce scowl but a cute little dimple on their chin would keep Katniss from getting too angry at them when they got in trouble._

I sit straight up. I don't know why my mind brought back this memory. The night before the Quell started, Katniss had told me about the baby she'd gotten pregnant with after our first intimate night together, I had stayed up all night, running my hand across her stomach. I had been so sure I was going to die so I had wanted to bond with my baby as much as I could. Granted it wasn't very much considering Katniss was still pregnant, but it still meant the world to me. Little did I know that just a couple days after entering the arena she'd lose the baby…

I shake these thoughts from my head and look up and find Finnick leaning against the archway, a smirk on his face, coffee in hand and only a pair of boxers on. Not a good sign.

My head is throbbing so I reach a hand up to grab my head. I groan and give Finnick a pleading look. I don't remember most of the night. I remember playing a game, Katniss admitting her love for me again and a kiss, after that and everything in between is a black blur.

" Well… Well… Well…. Mr. Mellark I do believe you can 't say it's been six years since the last time you got lucky." He snickers, giving me a knowing smile and wink.

I frown deeply and try hard to think about the events of the night before. " That's impossible Finnick." I croak, moving my hand to scrub my face as a yawn threatens to escapes me.

" Whatever lover boy. Might want to take inventory of what you're wearing before saying that." He teased, shaking his head. " Come on, there's some eggs, bacon, toast, coffee and a remedy for hangovers that Katniss' mom brought over this morning." He says, pushing off the archway and making his way into the kitchen.

I watch him leave in confusion before it dawns on me what he's talking about. I look down, my hand falling from my face. My clothes are scattered all around the room, the only thing covering me up is a fleece blanket that sits low on my hips, just covering up my ' man bits'. I blush a bit and realize that something must have happened with Katniss if I'm nude.

I wrap the blanket around my hips and tuck it in so that it'll stay. I don't really care about dressing at the moment, I just want some food and coffee in my system as well as whatever hangover cure Mrs. Everdeen has created. I stumble a bit to the kitchen and collapse in the first chair I reach.

Finnick and Gale are sitting at the table as well. Gale at lease has a pair of pants on and is reading a paper, sipping coffee. They both look at me though when I pour myself some coffee and lay my head down on the table.

" When's the last time you got drunk Mellark?" Gale asks, a smile teasing the corner of his lips. He pours me a cup of coffee, tipping some blue liquid into the black drink and I just assume it's the hangover remedy.

I actually have to think about it for a moment and shrug. " The night Effie and Haymitch served me with divorce papers." I answer, taking a long drink off the coffee. Right away, I start to feel some relief.

They both frown deeply and exchange a look that I don't quite understand. Finnick takes a deep breath after a moment and scratches the back of his neck. " Peeta… Finn, Echo, Annie and I are going home on the first train back to Four at noon." He muttered, almost sounding regretful.

I nod slowly. The Odair's leaving isn't that big of a deal really. I'll miss my friends but I'll have Katniss and Pearl to keep me happy.

Gale clears his throat and fidgets with some of the things on the table. " Elm, Jo and I are headed home too. Her due date is quickly approaching and we still have a lot to do for our daughter before she's born. Prim and Mrs. Everdeen are her doctor's so they have to return with us, Rory tagging along since he still has to move his stuff into his and Prim's new house." Gale explained, not looking up from his cup of coffee.

They don't need to say anything else because I know where it's going. " Katniss and Pearl are leaving today also." I murmur, looking down into my cup of coffee sadly.

" Unfortunately… If no one from our little family can stay behind with her, Katniss isn't allowed to stay behind in any District by herself. She broke her orders when she left Twelve to begin with even though it was for an emergency, they only gave her a warning and extended her sentence. She's still considered unstable Peeta. The head Peacekeeper reminded us of that this morning before Katniss left to get Pearl…" Finnick explained, sounding a tad bit disgusted with it.

I remain silent, slowly processing this. I'm going to be losing not only Katniss again but also our daughter when she has to leave with her mother…

" Peeta they don't have to go with us… We talked to the head Peacekeeper this morning when he came by to drop off our train tickets, if you go to the Justice Building and claim Pearl as your daughter officially then Katniss will have to stay behind in Twelve until you either relinquish any parental and guardian responsibility or until custody and visitation rights are figured out. It's just a few forms you'll have to sign and that's it. Katniss stays behind in Twelve with you and you get more time with Pearl." Gale speaks up as I lay my head back down against the table.

I shake my head, not even allowing myself to entertain the idea of doing that to Katniss or Pearl. " I couldn't do that Gale… As much as I already love Pearl and want badly to be her father as more than a sperm donor, I can't even threaten to take her away from Katniss. I won't force her hand. If Katniss wants me to be involved with Pearl then she'll let me. If I try to force her or stop her from doing anything, she's going to fight against me and then she'll never allow me to be around Pearl." I tell him, getting up and setting my now empty coffee cup in the sink.

" Peeta, we all know that with Katniss, this might be your only way." Finnick tells me.

I rub my temples, not trying to think about that. " I don't care Finnick. Thank you Gale, Finnick… I'll see you two another time." With those words slipping out with a soft growl, I turn and stomp out of the house. I may not have attacks anymore from the tracker jacker venom, but I've developed a terrible temper and I can feel it brewing into something big quickly.

The cool morning air does nothing to help clear my head. My whole body ached and not just from the hangover but rather also from the weight of everything Gale and Finnick told me. I scrub my hands over my face as my conscious battles it out for what to do. I want so badly to be the selfish man Peeta Katniss told me to be but I know I can't. Pearl might grow up to hate me if I even attempt to take her away from Katniss or hold them back just so I can get her to know better.

I don't want that.

I sigh heavily and hang my head down and walk to the house where my wife and daughter should be waiting for me. I rub my neck and enter the lonely house, waiting to hear if anyone else was in the house. It was an old habit from when I would have attacks and now it's just a precaution to keep from having the woman I love from having to see me have a temper tantrum.

Satisfied for the moment with the silence, I grab the first lamp I come across in the living room in a tight grip. Katniss' words are all spinning around in my head at warped speed, everything she'd told me that had struck a nerve or caused a strong emotion bubbling over in my mind.

" _Why can't you do one selfish thing in your life Peeta Mellark?"_

" _Hate me Peeta, just hate me already! I can't stand that you still love me. If you hated me it would make things so much easier for me!"_

" _Like everything else in our relationship, it's complicated and you wouldn't understand."_

" _Peeta, I would marry you again in a heartbeat. I still love you. I've never stopped loving you."_

I let out a cry of frustration and rage, throwing the lamp at the wall across from me. The lamp shatters into an irreparable mess on the ground. " Lies!" I shout as I grab another item from the same table as the lamp and throw it as well causing it to break. It's shattered remains join the lamp on the floor but I'm beyond caring about the mess or the fact the I'm destroying things that Katniss had picked for our house.

I don't know if what Katniss told me is true or not since she's just up and leaving. If she truly loved me still, she wouldn't leave. She'd beg me to come with her. She'd sign the papers herself to stay behind. She'd drug me again and drag me on the train even or hold me hostage if need be. Katniss would have already stopped herself from having to leave if she wanted to stay.

I grab the poker from beside the fireplace and swing it around wildly. It connects with the large TV over my fireplace. Perfect. The TV I watched religiously and refused to turn off normally, hoping, praying to an unknown deity for just one glimpse of Katniss, a hint as to where she was, it seemed the right thing to smash into oblivion with my own two hands. I swung and stabbed at it, glass flying everywhere. It falls from the wall but still I beat it when it's on the ground.

Sweat drips from my face and it's a struggle to breathe as I loudly curse everything about Katniss.

The way her eyes stormed and drew me in.

The way her laughter made me involuntarily sigh.

The way her lips felt so heavenly against mine.

The way my name sounded coming from her lips.

I cursed everything about her that I possibly could. I kept beating that TV while it lay motionlessly on the floor at my feet. Despite my body aches, it felt good to be getting everything out now.

" Peeta!" A voice shouted from behind me, instantly making me freeze.

Speaking of the devil…

" What are you doing?" Katniss demands, her voice somewhere between shock and pity.

" Go away. You have a train to catch." I growl, slowly turning around to face her. I must look like a mad man as I point the end of the poker at her. " Turn around and leave this house right now. It was wrong of me to lie and think that by seeing me you would suddenly realize you were wrong to leave and would come back to me. I'm sorry and you'll never hear from or see me again. I'll send money for Pearl directly to an account specially made for her or to one of the others but you'll never have anything more to do with me." I growl, still breathing heavily.

She's dumbstruck. Her mouth falls open, her brows coming together. I know that look, fear comes to her eyes and she's thinking about the pros and cons of staying or running. She thinks it's the venom speaking.

" The venom isn't in my system anymore, the parts of my brain damaged by it were replaced and I don't have to worry about that anymore Katniss. This is me, Peeta Mellark, in sound mind and good conscious, telling you that I'm going to leave you alone now. No more phone calls. No more letters. No more pretending that you're going to truly love me again. You want me to move on well this is me starting. No more acting like a lost puppy dog, trying to follow you around!" I snap, rolling my eyes at her.

This makes her physically flinch. " Peeta… What happened?" She whispers and steps forward, reaching out to push the poker down.

" What happened Katniss is that I realized that everything the last couple of days has done nothing. You enjoy having me chase you around and I'm not going to do it anymore!" I exclaim, dropping the poker since it's obviously doing nothing to help me. " I can't keep doing this Katniss. You told me you love me and now you're leaving. I don't know you anymore and the last couple of days have proved it." I tell her, trying to reign in my anger as she stands toe-to-toe with me.

" Peeta, I'm here to apologize." She stammers, tears coming to her eyes. " Last night meant everything to me even though I was drunk. I woke up this morning and realized I still love you. Please don't start hating me now." She pleads, tears coming to her eyes.

I shake my head and step back. " Katniss you're still leaving. Gale and Finnick told me there's ways to stop it and you haven't even started to consider allowing me to do one of those or starting them yourself have you?" I demand. I know I'm being crueler than I should but we both need this.

She drops her gaze and starts to play with her braid.

" Yeah, that's what I thought." I mutter, knowing her silence is a sign of her guilt. She's done nothing.

" Katniss!" Johanna calls from outside and I glance out the window to see everyone that's supposed to be leaving, standing outside with their bags. Each of them looks impatient and a glance at the clock on my wall tells me why.

" You're train leaves in ten minutes. Have a good life Everdeen." I growl, turning on my heels and heading up the stairs.

" Peeta, please don't do this! I love you!" She calls after me.

My response is to slam the door to our bedroom before going straight to take a shower. No final look at Katniss or an ' I love you too' to accompany her out the door. I've made up my mind.

I'm done.

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><p><strong><em>Alright so the rest of the author's note now, yay!<em>**

**_1) Sorry it took me so long to update this, things kept coming up. If you're a reader of my other stories, Bread on Fire and or The Doctor's Game, updates will be coming for those soon too! I just had a few requests to update this one first and ran into problems with the other two stories so I'm working on them..._**

**_2) There is now a playlist for this story! YAY! The link can be found on my profile page, it features Sam Tsui, Ed Sheeran, Panic! At the Disco, Jake Owen and many more! It's simply just the songs that inspired the chapters or I believe went well with each chapter and will be updated with every new chapter being added..._**

**_3) I am contemplating writing 'outtakes' and sending them out to any of my readers who review this story. Now that being said I'd like to know your opinions. I have a couple in mind, a continuation of the memory Peeta displayed at the beginning of this chapter, his side of Katniss' leaving, how Finnick survived the Capitol, but are there any you guys would specifically like to see since I'm taking requests at this point? Would any of you even like to read the 'outtakes'?_**

**_4) I recently started writing my own original story about stars (the kind from space) and humans, it's a bit of a love story that's meant to have everything for everyone in it. If anyone's interested, I have posted it on another site and now have the link for it up on my profile page as well and would love to hear any of your opinions of it if you're up for reading it!_**

**_5) If any of you lovely readers are artists or really great at photo editing, I'm currently on the look out for a great cover for this and my other two stories since we can have some now... Just gonna toss that out there while I have the chance..._**

**_That's it I believe! Please be kind and leave a review, it really does make my day..._**


	8. Media Mania

_**The song for this chapter on the playlist is Every Breath You Take by the Police & Sting.**_

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><p><em><strong>Katniss<strong>_

The sun feels glorious on my face, the water crashing against the shore calming me. The kids are all splashing in the ocean with Finnick and Gale while Annie, Johanna and I are simply lounging in our beach recliners. Johanna's slowly rocking little Accacia Hazel Hawthorne, having delivered the little girl the morning after we had returned from Twelve. It had been lucky that my mom and Prim had insisted on coming home so early or else the newest addition to our unorthodox family would have been born in Districtr Twelve. Despite being born early, the little girl was in perfect health.

Annie snickers softly and sips her iced drink, shaking her head. " This is so strange." She laughs suddenly, breaking our easy silence.

Johanna and I both look at her curiously. " What do you mean?" Johanna asks, just as lost by her comment as I am.

She sets her drink aside and shields her eyes from the sun with her hand, gazing out at the kids and the two men acting as the responsible adults. " It's just, Prim and Rory are having twins in a couple of months. Jojo, you just had little Accacia there and have Elm, Katniss has Pearl and now this newest one on the way while Finnick and I have Finn and Echo on top of Onyx, who would have imagined our lives this way?" She asks with another small chuckle.

I look out, seeing Pearl splashing Finnick and Finn and rested a hand on my slightly bulging stomach. It's been three months since the trip to District Twelve and waking up beside Peeta after the drunken night. I had found out I was pregnant again not long after returning home to Four and it had been quite the shock to me. I hadn't spoken to Peeta since arriving, he kept to his word and hadn't called or written since our fight and had even set up an account for Pearl that he dumped money into every two weeks, already she had a good amount of money. Peeta once again had no that he had a baby on the way and honestly it seemed to be easier once again.

Pearl was excited to have a new brother or sister and I was actually more excited this time. I wasn't depressed like I'd been with Pearl but I was still a little more frightened. I had gone to see a doctor already and knew that this baby was healthy and was due on Peeta's birthday. With any luck I'd have an easier time having this baby than I did with Pearl and I was already thinking of names for him or her, knowing I'd give it the last name of Everlark, just like Pearl.

" It is strange. I never thought Gale really would make me fall in love, get me to agree to marriage and actually knock me up not once, but twice." Johanna laughs and I look at her with a smile.

" It is a bit surprising… God help the man who decides to lust after Accacia…" I tease making both women laugh.

" That is a very true fact… God help any man who wants to date any of the girls in our little family… I can already see a fight brewing between Elm, Finn and Echo over little Pearl, I can't imagine what would happen if a third party tried to get into the mix." Annie adds.

This sends a shiver through me but luckily I don't have to respond because Rory and Prim finally join us. Prim is already very round and counting down the days until she can give birth, already over and done with pregnancy. Rory is beaming though, his smile growing impossibly wider as Elm and Pearl yell ' Unca Roro!" and come running towards him. Echo and Finn were still getting into the habit of calling Rory uncle, but they were slowly getting better at it.

" Oh good graciousness… That smile can only mean one thing…" I mutter with a laugh as I manage to get out of the chair and give Prim a bit of an awkward hug since both of our pregnant bellies keep us from getting super close.

" Yup, we learned their genders." Prim sighs, shaking her head. She had been all for waiting, but Rory had begged and pleaded until she had finally given in and agreed to learn the genders before they were born.

" And we have names!" Rory exclaimed excitedly as he waved at Gale and Finnick who were ushering the kids out of the water.

" Alright then dear brother, let's hear them!" Johanna told him as she also got up so she could give him and Prim a one armed hug.

Rory carefully took Accacia from Johanna's arms, already wrapped around the little girl's finger as badly as her father and he was definitely enjoying the practice she gave him. He smiled up at Prim who nodded, resting a hand on her stomach. " We're having a boy and girl." Prim announced excitedly.

" We've decided that since our family is so colorful and full of plants and flowers alike, our daughter's name is going to be Amaranth Ava Hawthorne. Ava means little bird and will be named for her high spirited aunt since she's giving Prim so much trouble." Rory said, beaming. I couldn't help but laugh and feel touched that my niece was going to be named after me. " For our little boy, Barrett Barend Hawthorne, Barrett meaning bear strength and Barend meaning firm bear since to be part of this family, he's going to have to be strong like a bear to survive our insanity." He announces proudly, gazing down at Accacia.

" Those are wonderful names." Annie tells them honestly.

" It's so great you two are having a boy and girl!" Finnick tells them, embracing them both in one of his famous bear hugs.

" My goodness, another boy, Catnip you need to be sure you're having a girl so we have some hope of evening out this brood!" Gale teases, playfully hip-checking me.

I laugh and roll my eyes, placing a hand on my stomach. Pearl's face scrunches up and shakes her head. " Nuh-uh… Mama's gonna have a boy!" She tells Gale, sticking out her tongue at him, making everyone roar with laughter.

" Might be smart, the last thing we need in this world is three more Everdeen girls. Lord knows it's going to be hard enough with Pearl and Amaranth." Rory jokes, getting a playful jab to the ribs from Prim.

Prim rolled her eyes. " We're not all as feisty as Katniss hun." She told him with a small huff.

Rory took on a mischievous look. " I beg to differ… If you hadn't been so feisty, we wouldn't have these two." He told her with a wink.

Prim turned bright red and playfully smacked him. " Cheeky bastard." She murmured as once again everyone laughed.

It was amazing how at ease we were as a group. Despite what Peeta had done, I threw myself into everything to keep from getting depressed. I couldn't sulk this time, I had a new baby I had to take care of myself for and I had Pearl who depended on me. I still had a couple of days that were hard for me to be able to get out of bed but I was managing the best way I knew how. I was making it and that was all that mattered in reality.

We had started to settle down as a group because the kids were getting too rambunctious. Pearl nearly gave me a heart attack when she squealed and went running up the beach, towards the houses. I turned around to face her and saw a very familiar head of red hair, bringing a wide grin to my face.

" Unle Ony!" All the kids shout and go running to him, just as he scoops Pearl up in his arms.

Ony, or better known as Onyx, was a good friend of ours, legally he was Annie and Finnick's son as well. Onyx's mom had been the Victor from Eight, Cecelia, who had been killed in the Quell during the initial Bloodbath. His father was a Victor from One, his conception had been paid by for a Capitol citizen who had thought it'd be incredible for the Victor's from One and Eight to have a baby, it had been just another pimping out as far as Snow had been concerned. Cecelia's husband hadn't been amused by it and upon her death, had kicked young Onyx out of his home. Plutarch had found him and had put him in Annie and Finnick's capable hands and we all grew close to him as well. He's a good guy, even if he does work for Plutarch's gossip team now…

" Well, well, if it isn't the ever expanding Victor's family!" Onyx teased as he reached us, dragging the kids on his legs since Pearl wouldn't give her spot up in his arms. He had on his usual grin that lit up his whole face and made his green eyes sparkle, he looked more like his father than his mother. He had bright red hair that he kept cropped short, just below his ears, his skin a little tanner than most from One or Eight since he was raised here in Four and his eyes were the brightest green anyone had ever seen. He leaned down and kissed Annie's cheek, letting her kiss his in return, greeting her and Finnick as mom and dad.

Annie was so happy to see Onyx, she worried about him so much since he was only eighteen. " It's about time you come home to visit your family! Plutarch over works you, you really need more time off." Annie tells him happily, looking up at him with such love and adoration for the boy she'd helped to raise.

" Sorry ma, someone's gotta keep things all hush hush about the Victors and their families. You guys really aren't as inconspicuous as you think." He told us, putting Pearl down on the ground despite her protests.

" Well that's why we have a guy on the inside." Finnick told him, embracing his son in a man hug.

Onyx laughs and looks at us all with a serious look in his eyes. " This isn't just a social visit is it?" Gale asks, clearing his throat, catching onto the look in his eye along with me.

Onyx's smile fades and he shakes his head slowly. " I'm sorry but it's not. Perhaps the children should go back and play while we discuss this as proper adults?" He suggests nervously.

We all look at each other with matching expressions of perplex. If Onyx of all people is requesting the children be excluded from this conversation, it's serious. Onyx absolutely loves all the kids, he still acts like a child most times himself and always wants the kids to be around since he considers them family. He's never asked for them to not be around when we talk before.

" Come on then, it's been hours since Katniss last ate and we need to fatten her and the baby up." Finnick says, breaking the silence and starting our migration to the houses.

We all end up my house with the children all playing in the living room while us adults crowd around in the kitchen. The houses in District Four's Victor's Village are much bigger and fancier than those in Twelve so there is more than enough room for all eight of us to be in the kitchen with ease. As Annie and Johanna fix up sandwiches for us (I'm banned from every trying to cook again), Prim and Rory talk to Accacia in baby gibberish and the rest of us are in obvious discomfort.

" Alright Onyx, out with it. Whenever you pay us a visit, it usually means bad news for us…" Gale tells Onyx at last after twenty minutes of silence from him.

Onxy looks down at the table and folds his hands, sighing heavily. " I'm sorry guys, I just want to say that now. I've done everything I could to keep this from happening but I don't know what else you guys expected…" He mutters, not looking at any of us.

He pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath and finally looking at us all. " I know you haven't touched your TV's or read the papers but Katniss and Peeta have been all over everything since the trip to Twelve. Everyone wondering what really happened to the Star-Crossed lovers, why you haven't been spotted together lately… All of that was left to the citizen's imaginations but Haymitch's funeral has stirred up at lot of questions. Rumors have been floating around although I have to say there is one tagline a Capitol news crew came up with after going through photos of the funeral to display in their newscast… They blew up a quick shot of Pearl they were able to get and put a caption of ' This little girl's father _must_ be a baker because she's a cutie pie'. Brilliant if you ask me." He explains, giving a short laugh at the end but quickly stops it and clears his throat when none of the rest of us join in his laughter.

" Anyway, Peeta's also been on a rampage of sorts since your visit. He's been spotted with Vick Hawthorne and has now earned himself a reputation as a party boy, something no one in Panem ever expected of the bread boy… Pictures have surfaced of you as well Katniss, last week one of you in a bikini, your baby bump very noticeable and Pearl kissing it. It sent Peeta into a rage and he ended up passing out in a hotel bar having drank himself half to death. He filed papers yesterday though and now wants joint custody of Pearl and a paternity test for this newest addition to the Mellark line. No one seems to think it's anyone else's baby, they believe it's another bun in the oven made with the Mellark special recipe, but Peeta just wants to be certain even though the timing works out perfectly for your visit." He tells us, his eyes never leaving mine.

The color drains from my face as I let everything sink in. Finnick is to my right and places a hand on my shoulder, but it does little to comfort me. Peeta knows I'm pregnant again and is trying to take Pearl away from me. I will never live in Twelve again and I know he will never come to Four so for joint custody, there would be days where I wouldn't have my precious little girl.

" Since you and Peeta were so crucial to the rebellion and are still so important to the people, Paylor has now gotten involved. She's requesting your presence, well everyone here's presence to be exact, at next weekend's Mockingjay Festival. I know you always celebrate it here in Four, but you can't refuse this unfortunately." He tells us, now looking at everyone in the room. The Mockingjay Festival is the biggest celebration in Panem since it's the celebration of gaining our independence from the Capitol.

" Everyone will want to see how their favorite and only remaining Victors are doing, go crazy over their children and people are just dying to see how their lovely Prim is doing since they haven't heard anything since you started working at the hospital. You'll be there for a full week at least for the festivities as will Peeta. You'll undergo the paternity test and will be examined by Paylor's personal physician, settling everything once and for all. Pearl will also be included in the test just to be certain before anything is settled. Paylor has assigned a lawyer to this Katniss and has a third party looking over Peeta's paperwork. It's all over the news already I'm afraid. This was too bit for Plutarch or I to cover up…" Onyx says.

Gale gets angry at his words and shoves back from the table violently, the chair falling down on the ground with a heavy thud. No one else dares to speak or move, allowing Gale a moment to get whatever is in his system out.

" You couldn't stop this Onyx? There was no possible way for you to block this just like you have everything else in the past." Gale demands, his voice pleading as he runs his hands through his hair.

Onyx shakes his head. " No, I'm sorry. This is just much too big for Plutarch or I like I said. The public is demanding it, some of it's already been leaked by those not associated with Plutarch. It spread like wildfire and at this point Plutarch and I are at the mercy of the people since they are demanding our jobs for not reporting about everyone all these years…"

" Shit Onyx… You couldn't have given us any earlier warning?" Gale hisses, keeping his voice low, just in case any of the kids are listening.

" If Onyx had known anything, he would have told us sooner." I speak up, defending Onyx because I know it's the truth.

" Thank you Katniss… Everything was just filed and figured out last night at a late night meeting of Paylor and her Cabinet. I was given instructions this morning and that's that. There's no use in fighting this. Katniss you're going to have to face Peeta and everyone else is going to have to do interviews and attend parties." He says, leaning back in his chair.

I nod slowly and slowly stand up. " I guess that's settled then. If we can't fight it as a group then we're going to just have to do what Paylor wants. I owe Paylor my life personally and will do what I have to to make amends, even doing this." I tell them before leaving the room to break the news to Pearl that we're going to be seeing her father again and we're going to be going on a trip again.

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><p><em><strong>Hope you enjoyed this chapter, more drama to come as Katniss and the gang show up in the Capitol along with Peeta... Please show me some love by reviewing this chapter and letting me know what you think!<strong>_


	9. Bartender

_**So I'm gonna start doing this before every chapter just because I can... The song for this chapter on the playlist is 'Bartender' by Rehab. Enjoy!**_

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><p><em><strong>Peeta<strong>_

I knock back my fourth drink and shudder as it courses through me. I've never been a drinker before but ever since Katniss left District Twelve, I've been out almost every night with Vick, Gale's little brother. Even after four drinks though, I can't get my newest encounter with Katniss out of my mind.

When I had been ushered into the hospital earlier for the DNA test, Katniss had been leaving. She was being pushed in a wheelchair, Pearl curled up in her arms. Pearl had her head buried in Katniss' shoulder and the way her little body was trembling, it was easy to tell she was scared. Katniss had her arms wrapped around the sweet little girl, obviously whispering encouraging words to her. I could just barely see Katniss' swollen pregnant belly under Pearl and the tears silently falling from her eyes. I had never felt so heartless in my life.

I slam the shot glass down on the table and reach for the fifth one the bartender already has set out for me. Just when I was about to press it to my lips, it's snatched away from me. I turn my face upward to curse the person who stole it, but I'm met with a familiar pair of green eyes and the words die down on my lips before leaving them.

He gives me a smug look, holding the shot up in a small salute or toast to me. " Through the lips, over the tongue, look out stomach, here it comes." He says with a humorless laugh before knocking back the drink.

" Funny… Did you come up with that one yourself?" I sneer, looking back to the bartender and silently order another batch of rounds. I need to get Katniss out of my mind before I go mad.

" Wish I could take credit, but Uncle Gale taught it to me some time ago…" Onyx says, taking a seat beside me. " One of the few things Uncle Gale and my dad taught me while the girls were busy and not paying much attention to us."

" How touching… Hawthorne teaching you a mildly inappropriate drinking phrase and I'm pretty certain it was during an extremely inappropriate time." I scoff, rolling my eyes. Somehow it's not shocking to me.

" Good one Peeta." He says, playfully shoving my shoulder.

I turn and glare at him icily until he drops his hand from my shoulder. He seems to wilt up and grabs one of the two drinks the bartender is serving up for me.

" What crawled up your ass and died? You're nothing like the Peeta I remembered in my childhood." He muttered, easily taking down the shot while I choke on it still.

I hear him mutter something about being a pansy under his breath before calling for some kind of drink I don't recognize. I let his words buzz in my head for a moment before turning to look at him angrily. " That Peeta went away and died a long time ago. In case you haven't heard, my life hasn't exactly ever been rainbows and butterflies." I snarl.

Onyx rolls his eyes and hangs his head down. " Honestly Peeta, you and Katniss are so much alike it's scary that you two haven't given up and realized that there's no way that you two will ever be happy without each other because no one will ever have the patience to put up with you two."

" Excuse me?" I demand.

He looks at me with a resentful expression. " You both wallow in yourself pity and act like you have these giant crosses on your back to bear by yourselves. I'm just saying if you two would stop for two seconds, pull her heads out of your asses and assessed the situation like proper adults, you'd come up with a solution!"

" What's that supposed to mean?" The words slipping out of my clenched teeth. Wow, not even five minutes and I was already pissed and had my fill of him.

" It means you need to assess the situation for just one second and you can come up with a solution." He says, taking a deep breath and accepting the drinks from the bartender. " Look at things from her eyes for just one moment. She's never wanted children and suddenly she finds out she's knocked up and you have a major episode just when she's starting to accept it. She thinks there's something now wrong with the baby and flees. She doesn't want to hurt you further so she cuts all ties to you and clings to her little family who to help keep her sane, keeps her secrets. When she finally spills the beans and starts to get comfortable, even approaching you to tell you that she wants you to be involved with her and Pearl and you shut her out. My God Peeta, Katniss is supposed to be the selfish one, not you!"

His words hit me like a slap across the face. I turned away and looked down at one of the bottled drinks he's been served. I hastily grab it and sip it, the liquid moving downward more smoothly than the shots. " I'm supposed to do what now? Feel sorry for Katniss?" I grumble.

" No, you're supposed to man up. It isn't any big shocker that Katniss didn't tell you she was pregnant for a second time?" He says, rubbing his temples. " I'm too young for this shit and yet here I am having this conversation for the second time today…." He mumbles.

" The second time?" I challenge.

" Yes, the second time. I had to have a similar conversation with Katniss earlier before she and Pearl had to go to the hospital for their appointments. Only difference is, it was easier to argue your side of the story since I can kind of relate to yours." He explains with an exasperated sigh. " You only have Pearl and the new baby left in your family. She has Prim, Prim's new babies and her mom. Sure she has the whole group as well, but everyone just supports her and does what she wants for Pearl's sake. She's more unstable without you than she likes to think and so to keep Pearl from having to see Katniss melt down, they go along with her ill thought out plans. They do fight for you though, no one thinks you should be without your last remaining relatives."

It takes me a moment to remember that both of his biological parents were gone as well and his half siblings had all cut their ties with him the same time his step-father had. His father had been killed in the rebellion because he was a Victor who ate out of the palm of Snow's hand and his mother had been killed in the Quell. This hits me like a swift kick to the gut, stopping me in my tracks.

" I'd kill for what you have Peeta, honestly." He tells me, taking a large drink out of his bottle. " I was eight years old when I was called to the Capitol by Snow to make arrangements for my mother because she was to be buried there and not in District Eight because the Capitol citizens were demanding it. I was forced to go alone because my father couldn't stomach it. Eight years old, I was led into a launch room where my mother laid on a table, her wounds still bloody and the body mangled. I had a box of Band-Aids with me, I tried so hard to cover all of her wounds with the bandages, thinking that if I could just do that, they would heal and my mother would come back to me. You didn't have to do that, your parents died and you didn't have the imagine of their lifeless bodies forever burned into your brain. You can still keep going on like it never happened, but it's the excuse you're using about you two children and it's not right."

He withdrew a packet of papers from inside his jacket and laid it on the bar in front of me. I glance at it nervously. " Paylor sent me here as the messenger. Both DNA tests came back, Pearl and the new one are both your children. Katniss and Pearl are recovering from all this in their quarters. Katniss isn't too pleased with the outcome." He continued, shaking his head.

He opens his mouth to say something more, but I cut him off. " What? She's not pleased that I'm the father?" I choke out from between two clenched teeth. I forget all about his horrific story about his mother, enraged by Katniss' reaction.

" God, would you stop acting like a spoiled, self-centered Capitol brat for two seconds? My God, just let me finish explaining before you start jumping to conclusions and assuming. You're getting nowhere with that besides making an ass out of you and me." Onyx snaps loudly, catching the interest of a few patrons of the bar.

I look at him with a look of resent, but keep my lips sealed.

" Thank you." Onyx says, rubbing his temples hard. " It's been decided that since Pearl is going to be starting school in Four this year and Katniss is too unstable to move back to Twelve, they're going to take this chance to test you. You're to move to the Victor's Village in Four, right across from the Everdeen-Everlark abode. You'll have three hours a day of mandatory visitation with her daily. This is likely to change however in month, this is all a trial basis and in a month Paylor and Katniss' lawyers will reassess the situation and discuss it with your lawyers. Katniss doesn't you to have to move and be forced to see your children, that's why she's not happy. Not because you're their father, a fact she already knew and celebrated."

I frown as I glare at the file but slowly turn to look at him after a few minutes thought. " What if I don't want to move to Four?" I spat out, sure that between my irritation, depression and the liquor, I'm actually no longer in charge of my words.

Onyx moves before I see him, his fist collides with my nose and I stumble back. I reach up to feel my nose and find it feels crooked, blood is slowly starting to trickle out. I look to Onyx, fully intending to fight back but I find he's been restrained.

Gale and Rory are each holding one of his arms and I can see the top of Finnick's head behind him so I can tell that it's Finnick's arm wrapped tightly around his neck. I feel like murdering Onyx, I haven't been hit like that since I was child.

" Peeta stop right now." Gale hisses at me.

I look at him, narrowing my eyes. " No. He broke my nose, I want to break his!" I shout.

" Now isn't the time! Katniss is in the hospital, she's losing him." Rory's tone is pleading as he looks at me with a frightened look.

" Him?" I demand, everything in me freezing. I'm sure I have a good idea of who ' him' is but I can't bring myself to fully accept that.

" Peeta, she's losing the baby." Rory whispers, confirming my fear. I instantly forget my anger and rage towards Onyx.

I'm taken by fear and uncertainty once more and can do nothing more for a moment then to stare at him, unblinking. " Him? My baby? Katniss is pregnant with my son and she's losing him?" I choke out, sure the words are going to kill me as they dance across my tongue.

Rory and Gale nod. I don't think, I just take off running out of the bar and down the street where I know the hospital is. I push myself as hard as I can, fear flooding through me. I don't even care how angry I've been with her, all I want is to make sure she's alright and be by her side…

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><p><em><strong>Sorry this wasn't up sooner, I'm already working on the next update. Can't wait to hear your thoughts about this chapter, I absolutely love hearing everything you all have to say about it and it makes my day to get reviews and alerts about this being added to various lists! Please continue sharing the love and let me know what you thinkthought and I promise the next chapter will be longer! (:**_

_**Also, I have now created a new FictionPress account for my story 'Written in the Stars' for anyone who's interested. You can find me under the listing of Scandalous Sparkle as well on that site. A link is up on my profile page to the story though and I'd love to hear thoughts/opinions about it as well... (:**_


	10. Snow's Final Stand

_**Couple of things real quick... **_

_**1) This isn't edited yet. It's after 2 in the morning my time and I'm headed to bed but if I didn't get this up now, I wouldn't be able to until Monday June 2nd. Please excuse my errors and I will correct them, promise.**_

_**2) My first outtake is ready guys! If you've been following me on my lovely new Facebook page, you got that announcement yesterday (if you're not a friend/following me yet but want to, the link to my profile can be found on my profile page here along with the playlist.). Anyone who reviews this story will get the outtake sent to them via Private Message.**_

_**3) The song for this chapter/update is ' You Could Be Happy' by Snow Patrol and has been added to the playlist.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

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><p><em><strong>Peeta<strong>_

Pearl adjusts herself in my lap, turning over in her sleep. She's snuggled up to the black and white toy I'd bought her from the shop across the street from the hospital that Prim had taken me to. I had never seen or heard of this new kind of toy, it was a stuffed toy, this particular one Pearl and Prim called a Teddy Bear. Such a toy would have cause me nightmares when I was her age but Pearl loved it and that was all that matter. Prim had helped me pick it out, she told me the particular animal it was based off of an animal called a Panda Bear, Pearl's favorite animal.

I sigh softly and look up from Pearl to Katniss' sleeping form. She had been hysterical when they'd brought her in so she was forced into sedation. She's been out cold for a few hours now, all hooked up to all sorts of machines that make far too much noise. Well that is all except for two. One plays out Katniss' heartbeat and is reassuring to hear its steady beat. The other brings tears to my eyes, it shows the baby's movements and plays the heartbeat of the child I already love as well.

The doctors have explained that Katniss had such an immense amount of stress that it caused the baby the baby to go into distress. This distressed made Katniss start going into labor early but luckily they were able to stop it and get everything back under control once Katniss was sedated. They had told me that everything was going to be alright, the baby appeared to have suffered no damage and Katniss would be able to carry the baby to full term. Ever since then I had been sitting with Pearl, uninterrupted in the room with Katniss.

" Daddy?" Pearl's small voice whispers, pulling my attention away from Katniss.

I smile down at the little girl, staring up at me with bright blue eyes that match my own. I'm positive I will never grow tired of being called ' daddy', a title I had always dreamed of one day achieving but never thought I would. " Yes daring?" I ask softly, not wanting to disturb Katniss just in case the sedatives wear off and she's still just peacefully sleeping.

" How do you know you love someone?" She asks softly, an adorable light blush painting her cheeks.

I laugh softly but look at her curiously. " When no one else in the world exists except for that person, that's how you know you love someone… Why?" I ask, holding her to me tightly.

She looks down at her Panda Bear and takes a deep breath. " Finn and Elm told me they love me… Finn kissed me and last night we got married." She whispered.

My heart stops.

" What?" I demand, unable to believe what my daughter is saying. My daughter is caught in the middle of her own love triangle, one involving an Odair and a Hawthorne naturally, and she's had what I can only hope is a make believe wedding with Odair who also took what I'm going to just assume was her first kiss.

" Finn and I wrapped up in a blanket, he kissed my cheek and then he told me he loved me. According to him we're married." She explains.

I let out the heavy breath I had been holding, relieved to know it was kiss on the cheek and that it was nowhere near an official marriage. That's a huge weight off my shoulders. " Did it make you happy?" I ask cautiously.

She pauses for a second, her face scrunching up in deep concentration. " Yes." She answers with a bright smile.

I can't help but laugh. " You my dear little girl might just be in love with little Finn Odair." I tell her with a soft laugh.

" But he's not little daddy… Finn's older. He's already ten." She tells me, giving me a scowl that I don't have to wonder where she got. The scowl screams Katniss Everdeen.

I nod and sigh heavily. " Alright, well the big Finn Odair is much too old for my six year old Pearl." I tell her which makes her giggle.

" Now you sound like Elm!" She tells me, making another laugh rise from me.

I can't help but treasure these short moments with her. She's such a sweet little girl and I want to spend the rest of my life making her happy but I'm starting to get the idea that I'm not the only one. " Well if Finn makes you happy then I wish the two of you all the luck and happiness in the world." I tell her.

She smiles and nods just as a nurse and Prim come in the room. The nurse is older, her hair all white and wrinkles surround her eyes and mouth. " I'm sorry but the doctor's want to come in and inspect Katniss and the baby." The nurse told them softly.

" He also wants to give her some stuff to wake her right up since she's still not out of her seadation. They don't want to give her a fright so Peeta, you and Pearl will have to wait with the rest of us." Prim goes on to explain.

I nod and sigh heavily. " Can I have a moment to just speak to Katniss?" I whisper as I hand Pearl to Prim.

The nurse nods and excuses herself and Prim reminds me to be quick.

Once they're out of the room, I stand up and walk slowly to the edge of her bed from the corner where the chair is situated. I brush a few loose stands of Katniss' hair out of her face, leaning down to kiss her forehead lightly.

" You're still just as beautiful as when I first laid eyes on you when we were five years old. You know that that day I ran home and told me father I found the girl I was going to marry? I didn't know that you would actually stoop down low enough to marry a pathetic waste of space like me but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Those two years I spent as your husband are the happiest ones of my entire life." I whisper, not sure if she can hear me or not. I move my hand from her face to rest on her stomach. It's not there for a full minute before I feel the baby, our son, pushing against my hand. " He's a strong little guy Katniss… You're going to do a great job raising him just like you have Pearl."

Tears are coming to my eyes now and I know I need to hurry before the nurse or doctor come to the room to check on Katniss and I need to get back to Pearl. Clearing my throat I quickly think of what all I absolutely need to say before I leave. " I didn't mean what I said and this custody thing isn't even my idea, I'll explain it when you wake up… Well that is if you want to see me again. I won't blame you if you don't, honest. I wouldn't want to see me again after what I've done…" I tell her with a heavy sigh, taking one of her hands with my hand not currently feeling our baby. You're happier I'm sure in District Four but I don't know for sure. You were so upset when you left and I hated myself for it. I wish I could take it all back, my words play over and over again in my head along with the image of your pain… All I do is hurt you. It's too late to ask you if we can go back to how we were, I'm not that stupid but I want to work on a new future." I promise her, leaning in and kissing her forehead again, tears slipping from my eyes.

" I know I should have stopped and I swear I will stop you if it ever comes to that again. I love you Katniss and I will make this up to you. I'll come to Four, move into the new hours, spend every waking moment with you and our children. I'm not going to let you slip away anymore, I can't keep doing this to us, neither of us can." I whisper before slowly pulling my hands away from her. " I'll be waiting for you to wake up."

With that I leave, just in time for the doctor and nurse to go into the room. I'm pointed to the waiting are and find the whole gang staring up at a large TV screen. A reporter with light purple skin and bright green hair is speaking, her soft and thick with worry.

" There's still no new news on the condition of the Mockingjay and no one from her party has been reached at this point in time. As soon as we hear word about her condition, we will let you know. Now to our other breaking news story, the top secret prisoner camp that was discovered yesterday has been completely evacuated. The island was located thousands of miles off the shore of District Four, where the disgraced President Snow would send those he deemed a threat to Panem to work. They were forced to make mutts, animals, weapons and props for the Hunger Games since the start of his reign over Panem." The reporter said. " The prisoners of this camp have all been taken to the Capitol to receive treatment and we have been asked to give them their space and so we will not be doing interviews. A list of those found within the camp include Jasmine Avery, Henry Avery-Abernanthy, Jaskson Mason…" She prattles on with a few more names but my attentions on Johanna.

Johanna looks pale and Gale isn't sure what to do. " He had my brother." She whispered simply. " They took Haymitch's girl, unborn child and my brother. He deserves to be rotting in hell…" She growled, holding tightly to the baby wrapped up tightly in a blanket, sleeping in her arms.

" Barley Mellark, Honey Mellark, Rueben Mellark, Hero Mellark, Capers Everdeen…" The anchor woman goes on, instantly catching my attention again.

Prim stands to her feet too now and her mouth is wide open, her mom is completely frozen. My parents and bothers survived bombings as did Katniss' dad. " No." I whisper.

" And lastly on this short list we were given by our executive Plutarch Heavensbee, Henry Hawthorne." She finishes.

Rory scrambles and grabs the remote, turning off the TV. Gale's gone pale now along with Rory.

" How is this possible?" Finnick speaks up first.

None of us answer, we're all too stunned and staring at the blank screen, absorbing what we've just heard. All of our loved longs we thought we lost are still alive. Even Hatmitch's girlfriend and his unknown child are still alive, Snow just kept them away from us.

" Well if you'll allow us, we'll tell you everything that happened…" An all too familiar voice says from behind me.

I tense up, normally when I would hear the voice, it would shoot fear through me but suddenly I feel like I'm a toddler again who's been injured. I'm looking for one of the two people my whole world revolved around and who can take away the pain.

" Mom?" I whisper, slowly turning around, not wanting to believe my ears.

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><p><strong><em>Don't forget to review to get the outtake! Please show some love though and tell me what you thought over all and remember please, I haven't gotten to edit it yet so I know there are quite a few errors, sorry...<em>**


	11. Permission

_**The song for this chapter is 'I Loved Her First' by Heartland. I'm working on fixing the last chapter so that will be updated soon. For now though, enjoy!**_

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><p><em><strong>Peeta<strong>_

I watch as Pearl plays with Finn, Echo and Elm, oblivious as to what's really going on. Johanna is sobbing as she talks with her brother Jaskons in one corner of the room, Finnick and Annie are talking with Jasmine, Henry Avery-Abernanthy (whom from my understand is named after Gale and Rory's father) and my parents. Rory and Gale are talking with their father while Mr. Everdeen was taken back to see Katniss since she was starting to wake up. I decided it was best for Pearl and I to wait to go in and see Katniss until after everything calmed down because it was sure to be a shock to see her dad again.

I know for myself, I can't face my family yet, not after everything I'd done. Where Mr. Everdeen and Mr. Hawthorne were taken hostage by Snow and forced to work because they had talked of starting their own rebellions, my family had been taken because of my own actions. How could I face my family after being the cause for their capture? How could I face them and tell them that I was the reason they were taken, because I had forced Katniss into loving me for the Games, for telling of her secret pregnancy and a fake marriage to ensure her safety? That I had held Katniss Everdeen over my own family's safety?

How could I possibly tell them I was sorry for it when I wasn't entirely sure I was?

I hang my head down and scrub my hands over my face and run them through my hair. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I have Pearl I have to take care of, a son I have to prepare for, try to win Katniss back and make everything up to my family. It's just too much for one man to do all by himself and I know I've royally screwed myself over so no one would even dream of helping me.

I raise my head up to look at Pearl. I can't help but wonder if it's maybe in her best interest if I went back into obscurity. Certainly she'd forgot about me in time since she doesn't know me that well and the new baby would never get the chance to meet me so it'd be spared. I feel so responsible for Katniss being in the hospital to begin with, I have no idea how her father's going to react when he finds out everything that's happened between Katniss and I…

" So are you going to tell me why that little girl looks so much like you Peeta?" A familiar voice asks, freezing everything in me.

So it is true, the world is out to get me in every possible way…

" Are you sure you want to know the answer to that Mr. Everdeen? You might not be too thrilled with me when you find out the whole truth." I mutter, turning my head to look up at him.

He looks just as I remember him. His hair is dark and kept in a classic style, short but long enough to have a bit of a hair flip to it that I've tried to replicate over the years but grey hairs are speckled here and there within it. His grey eyes still have the spark of youth to them despite how worn his body looks, but the laugh lines have remained around his mouth and eyes. He still looks strong despite the wear on his body and he's giving me a small smile so I know I have nothing to fear. Katniss definitely took after him more than she'd taken after her mother.

" That's probably true but I'd still like to know the little girl as well who she belongs to. No one will confirm or deny you are her father so maybe you can shine a little light on it for me." He says, taking a seat beside me.

I suck in a deep breath and a small smile of my own comes to my face. " That Mr. Everdeen is your oldest living grandchild, Pearl Everlark." I tell him just as Pearl looks up at us. She gives me a big toothy grin before turning back to look at the picture that Finn has colored and is offering up to her.

" I've been told by that Finnick boy why her last name is Everlark, but I'm confused about why you clarify her as the oldest living grandchild." He says, his brow creasing a bit as he admires Pearl.

" Katniss was pregnant once before, a few years before she had Pearl. The poor baby never had a snow ball's chance in hell of survival. We were reckless and didn't think about what we had to face, we just wanted one night of freedom and to just be two teens falling in love… She was a couple of weeks along before she lost the baby during the Quarter Quell." I whisper, chewing on my lower lip.

I hate talking about the lost baby, but I know he needs to know and it's better I tell him than Katniss. " No one alive knows this except for Katniss and I but we held a small memorial for it, just the two of us, Haymitch Abernanthy and Greasy Sae. It was Sae's idea and she helped us organize it once we were settled and back together… Katniss and I fought over what to name it or what gender we wanted to claim it as, but when Greasy Sae arrived with some violet flowers to be planted in her memory, we chose a name real fast. We've called her Iolanthe ever since, it's some ancient word meaning ' violet flower' and we've considered it our first baby girl. Or at least I still do, I'm not sure about Katniss…"I finish with a sigh, fighting back tears of my own.

Mr. Everdeen reaches out a hand and pats my back in a sympathetic gesture. " I'm sorry to hear that… It must have been hard on the two of you to go through that at your age. I can't even begin to imagine what it must've been like, Maryse and I had been lucky not to have to go through that." He says softly.

" Ol' Petey here was a mess, for days. He tried hard to hide his grief, but it was pretty obvious." Finnick's voice cuts in. He pats my shoulder too as he takes a seat across from me. " But now he's got Pearl and she's the light of his life and he's going to have a son too pretty soon." He says.

I nod and take another deep breath to calm myself, thankful for Finnick's presence. " Yeah, now all I have to do is worry about your son keeping his paws off of my daughter." I tell him with a small smile.

Finnick lets out a hearty laugh and shakes his head. " Yes, Finn's told me all about their little wedding and how he's going to only ever be married to her. He even threatened to beat up poor little Elm if he even so much as glanced at Pearl again." He teases.

" Have I missed something else?" Mr. Everdeen asks as he looks at me sternly.

" Well it seems that Pearl believes she's in love with Finnick's oldest son and the two have had a little play wedding. It's nothing more than child's play." I assure him. " I will be talking with her though about waiting until she's so much older to fall in love."

" That won't do much, I can assure you of that." Mr. Everdeen says with a short laugh. " You were Pearl's age when you first laid eyes on Katniss, were you not?"

I frown a bit as I think about it. " I was a year younger. Pearl's six, I was give when I first laid eyes on Katniss on our first day of school." I say sheepishly.

" The same age I was when I fell madly in love with Maryse." My father says. I snap my head up and look at him. His blonde hair is very light, making wonder if there's more grey in it than blonde anymore and his blue eyes are a duller color than when I'd last seen him. He was thinner, and there were more burn marks on his arms and hands but I still knew him very well. He was the other man I tried to imitate in my life. " I will never forget when you came running up to me when I came to walk you home from school that day… You shouted ' Papa, I've met the girl I'm going to marry! I met the only girl I'm ever going to love!'. You were so excited, bouncing everywhere. You were all too happy to point her out to me and I knew for sure that you were going to love her until the day you died."

My dad looks at me with a look of pride and I imagine it's something like the look I get on my own face when I look at Pearl. " It won't matter what you tell your daughter Peeta, she will follow her heart, whether that be marrying Finn or some other boy she will meet down the line. Just look at how she shines when she catches that older boy looking at her, the way he smiles each time he looks at her and the way their eyes both have the same sparkle and shine to them… Peeta you of all people should know that look as well as I do and my father before me did." He says softly, taking a seat.

I'm momentarily confused until I look at Finn and Pearl, seeing exactly what he's talking about. " That's… That's…" I stutter, unable to choke out the whole thing.

" That's your daughter in love with my son." Finnick whispers, also looking at the children at play.

" Your son is in love with my daughter…" I whisper as well, realizing that I know if absolute certain that it's true.

" And my son is in love with Pearl and my daughter most likely will fall for Peeta's new son… Seems to be a curse." Gale interjects as he approaches us. He shakes hands quickly with Mr. Everdeen and my father. " My poor children are doomed to follow in their father and uncle's steps, those Everdeen girls are just too much for us Hawthorne males to handle… So help me though Finnick if one of your sons tries to touch my daughter, I will murder them, no offense."

My father laughs and pats Mr. Everdeen on the back. " It's a good thing you only had two daughter's Capers, I don't want to even think of what might've happened if you'd had more."

Mr. Everdeen shakes his head. " Me too… It's bad enough that my youngest is pregnant with twin Hawthorne children but my oldest fell for a merchant boy, who knows what would have happened should I have had another daughter your older boys ages or well any other daughter's in general." He teases, pinching the bridge of his nose.

" Katniss is just like you sir, it's really no shock that she fell for a merchant when you yourself did." Gale tells him, reaching out to playfully shove Mr. Everdeen's shoulder.

" Well yes, there is that fact… Just wait though boys, you aint seen nothing yet…" Mr. Everdeen says, lounging back in his seat. " One day you're going to see her at school with a boy looking at her, the same boy that watches her every time she goes into a marketplace. The way he'll look at her will break your heart because you'll know he's going to try and take your little princess away." He says with a heavy sigh, glancing up at me. " I've been told you weren't around when Pearl was born but it won't change a thing."

I look down to the ground and take a shaky breath. I don't know exactly how to feel because obviously Mr. Everdeen had caught me staring at Katniss several times but he's definitely given me some things to think about. " What do you mean?" I ask softly, not sure of what he's getting at exactly.

" Peeta, I always wanted a son. I thought that if I had a boy, I could take him out in the woods, teach him to hunt, to gather in the woods and trade at the Hob. I thought that by having a son, it would be my good deed on Earth so that he could take those skills and use them to save some poor Seam girl from a terrible fate. I used to rub Maryse's stomach every night and hope with all my might that the baby growing within her would be that son that would save some unfortunate girl, my way of making up for taking Maryse from her life of ease." Mr. Everdeen says, his voice heavy with guilt. " I realize now that it was a stupid thing on my behalf, that even if I had had a boy, it wouldn't have changed anything. When the midwife proudly held up Maryse and I's first baby, proudly proclaiming over the wonderful newborn wails that it was a girl, I nearly wept with joy. Katniss was one of the prettiest baby's I had ever seen and when she had been placed in my arms after being cleaned up, she wrap her whole hand around my index finger and I was a goner."

Mr. Everdeen pauses for a moment and lets out a soft chuckle. " The first breath she took right in front of me, the first time she opened those beautiful grey eyes, I knew I would love her more than I could have ever possibly loved a son. No she would never pass on my name, yes I would have to worry about every other boy in District Twelve instead of just my one boy, but it was more than worth it in my mind. The first time she smiled and giggled, the first time she looked at the trees with wonder and excitement in her eyes as just an infant, I knew she was better than any boy would have been. It was because of Katniss that when Maryse got pregnant again, I wished so hard for another girl was overjoyed when Primrose came into the world… It's a lot of work raising daughters but it is the grandest thing in the world, nothing will ever compare to raising daughters , believe you me." He tells me and when I look up, his eyes are right on my face.

" The first time I saw you look at her, I knew you were going to be the boy coming to take her away from me. I'm glad Katniss found a man like you Peeta and it makes me incredibly proud to call you one of my son-in-laws." He says, honesty in every word.

" I'm no longer your son-in-law however sit, Katniss and I split up. She filed for divorce just before Pearl was born…" I whisper.

" Then fight for her Peeta. It's a terrible thing to lose the girl you love and I won't allow you to give up on her. Now get up and go to her the room to make sure she's perfectly fine as well as your newest baby. Tell Katniss exactly how you feel and say all the apologies I know you want to say to make her yours again." My father says gruffly, grabbing the shoulders of my shirt and yanking me up to my feet. " When you get back there will be time for you to speak with your mother, brother's and I. For now though, your mother and I would like to get to know our granddaughter."

" As would I as well as I believe I need to have a word with Rory and Henry Hawthorne…" Mr. Everdeen says, standing as well. He goes to walk by me but stops, leaning in next to my ear. " You haven't asked my permission yet Peeta but if you love my daughter and want to marry her, you have it. Not just because of my two grandchildren but because I believe you are the best man for Katniss and I know you will make her happy again." He whispers before my father shoves me towards the doors that lead to the hall where Katniss is.

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><p><em><strong>Please spread some love and let me know what you thought (: Next chapter will be from Katniss' Pov.<strong>_

_**Also, some of you may have noticed but I kind of dabbled in AnniexFinnick again and have posted a one-shot I had a brain blast for. If I get enough reads/reviews for it, I'm considering carrying on with it since my other two fanfics The Doctor's Game and Bread on Fire are coming to an end soon enough. If you would all be so kind, please take a look at it and let me know! You can find it on my profile page I guess, it's called A Mad Girl's Thoughts. Thanks so much! (:**_


	12. Momma Mellark Says What!

**_The song for this chapter is going to be announced in the next update/chapter, sorry. Stay tuned after this short update/chapter for more/important information. Thanks._**

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><p><strong><em>Katniss<em>**

I stare out the window of my room as the world moves on around me. My father just spoke to me and I can'tr process it really. He held my hand, wiped away my tears and told me he loved me still. He even had felt my son kick which made me cry. He told me he was proud of me and promised we'd talk more later but for the moment he had to go discuss something with someone important.

There came a knock at the door, pushing me away from my thoughts of my dad. I wiped at the tears coming from my eyes. "Enter only if you dare." I call, trying to lighten the mood for myself.

I'm shocked though when instead of a nurse, in walks Mrs. Mellark. My eyes go wide and my jaw drops.

"Not who you were expecting?" She asks with a laugh, closing the door behind her.

I blush a little, feeling bad, and quickly try to recompose myself. "No, sorry. I thought Peeta or Pearl would have come in by now." I admit, looking down to my stomach where my hands were resting over the baby.

"Peeta was on his way in here but Pearl had to use the restroom so he got sidetracked. He'll be in shortly, but I wanted to have a moment with you myself." She tells me, moving forward to take a seat beside my bed. "So how are you doing Katniss? I know physically you're great but I mean mentally and emotionally. I've been caught up on everything that's been happening and I'd like to know how you're really handling things."

I'm shocked by this and can't bring myself to look at her again just yet. No one had stopped to ask how I was handling things mentally or emotionally, it was just if I was sick or making sure the baby didn't get too stressed. "Not very well." I admit, figuring that I needed to be honest with myself as well as her. She was after all my ex-mother-in-law and the grandmother of my two children.

She sighs heavily and reaches out, placing one hand on my stomach as well. "Is this alright?" She asked curiously.

I laugh and nod, grabbing her hand and moving it to where my son is now kicking and pushing. "Everyone else just goes in and touches him, why not you too? This is your grandson , you are more than welcomed to feel him anytime you'd like." I tell her with an honest smile.

She laughs and nods. "I would imagine everyone wants to feel the child of the most famous couple in the world push and move around before coming into this world."

I nod and sigh, closing my eyes. "It's gotten to the point where I don't go out in public much anymore." I admit. "You should have seen how bad it was when it got out that I was pregnant with Pearl. My God, I got swarmed, people constantly trying to touch my stomach and all the speculations about Peeta being the father."

She nodded and the baby kicked hard suddenly, causing me to gasp. "He's a strong little bugger isn't he? Just like his father." She says softly, withdrawing her hand.

"Yeah... The other two weren't like this." I tell her, trying to move to a more comfortable position.

"Were you far enough along before for the first baby to be moving?" She whispers.

I shake my head and look out the window. "No, she was too early on when I lost her."

"I'm still so sorry about that Katniss. I know how hard it is to lose a baby but you have Pearl and now you have this boy." She says quietly.

I shake my head again. "It still doesn't make up for the loss of my first baby." I tell her, already fighting back tears. "I never wanted children or marriage until I found out about the first baby. Peeta was so ecstatic about it and it just hurt me. I almost got rid of it but the pain in Peeta's eyes when he told me he'd be here for me no matter what I chose, it just hurt me so incredibly bad... I tried so hard not to get attached to it, but damn Peeta, he just made me love it so much! I got attached to it and even started to think of it as not just Peeta's baby, but _my_ baby as well. It's a shame though that the first time I think of her as my future daughter or son and not just some abstract being, I lost her that day." I explain in a distant tone.

Mrs. Mellark is silent for a moment before she stands. "Katniss, do you truly love my little Peeta?"

I'm stunned by this and turn to face her. "Of course I do! He's my world! I'm so sick of these secrets, running, hiding... I want what we had back." I admit for the first time out loud.

She laughs and crosses to the door. "Well then it's settled. I'll be talking with that husband and those sons of mine about moving to District Four with you and that stubborn son of mine." With that she walks from the room, leaving me dumbfounded.

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><p><em><strong>I'm so incredibly sorry it's taken me so long to update. Things have been happening and I've been busy so I'm also SUPER sorry this is so short... Next chapterupdate will be up a lot sooner/longer, PROMISE! Please forgive me and I'll reward you all, promise! Next update/chapter will come with an outtake!**_**  
><strong>


	13. Good to Be Home

_**Please note that I own nothing. All rights belong to Suzzane Collins, the genius who created the Hunger Games trilogy. The music isn't mine as well, I just use it to inspire me to write. The song for the last chapter is Clocks by The Vitamin String Quartet and the song for this chapter is Starlight also by The Vitamin String Quartet. Both songs are now on the playlist and if you need access to the playlist, you can find a link on my profile page in the about me section. Enjoy!**_

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><p><em><strong>Peeta<strong>_

Some things never change unfortunately.

My mother is yelling at the moving men as they deliver my stuff to my new house and the delivery men dropping of the new things for the nursery. Katniss and I never got to speak in person while she was in the hospital, my mother told me that absence would make my heart grow fonder and that the two of us just needed to make absolute certain that we were even going to attempt a relationship again. We had talked twice over the phone however and she had forgiven me as I had done for her. We had come to an agreement, or arrangement, depending on how you wanted to see it…

Katniss was going to move in with my family and I, at least until the new baby was a few months old. No big deal really but it was just to give us a small bit of time to see if we could really make it. We had talked of starting back at square one again, but it seemed pointless since we had agreed to raise our children together.

Mom was happy about this news and had set right to work to redecorate the house given to me in District Four. It was right next door to Katniss' house too just in case anything happens and we decide we can't live together or something happens to her mom, Prim and Rory.

Luckily these houses are huge. They're even bigger than the ones in Twelve. There's six bedrooms in each house which works excellently for me. My parents are going to have one room, Katniss and I are going to share one, our son will have his own nursery, Pearl will have her own room and then Hero and Rueben will have their own rooms as well. All the rooms in my house will be filled and it makes me wonder just how Katniss and I are supposed to work on our relationship…

I groan and decide I can't take it anymore. I excuse myself from the house and out the back porch. Katniss is set to arrive back in a few hours so I know things are only going to get more hectic from here. Katniss and I both are going to struggle with this part of our relationship; learning to trust one another again.

Standing on the back deck, I suck in a deep breath and close my eyes.

"Long day?" Hero asks, slapping me on the back.

I laugh and shake my head. "You don't even know the half of it brother." I tell him with a heavy sigh.

He laughs and hands me a bottle of alcohol, which I all too happily accept. "It could be much worse brother." He tells me with a shrug.

"Not sure how, but I'll just take your word for it." I tell him, taking a large swig of the alcohol.

He laughs again and leaning against the railing of the back porch. "That might be a smart idea baby brother… You sir have done the impossible so many times over that I'm sure you know there are worse things."

I look up at him in confusion. "The impossible?"

"Yes. You're too busy being humble and Mr. Loverboy that you don't even notice the real things you do." He says, looking out at the water. "You survived the Hunger Games with your District partner, you survived the Quarter Quell, you survived the war even with being hijacked, you got Katniss Everdeen to tall in love with you and you got her pregnant now three times. That sounds like a crap ton of impossible things if you ask me…"

I roll my eyes. "That was nothing. I was just me living my life or doing what I had to to survive."

"Nobody thought you had it in you… Well nobody except dad, Rueben and I. We knew you'd help win this war, you'd win the girl and eventually you'd get your happily ever after." Hero says, taking the bottle from me to take his own drink of it.

"Yeah, that all sounds great in theory Hero, really it does. Allow me to point out one flaw in that daydream, I'm not going to get my happily ever after."

"What do you mean baby bro?"

"Katniss and I are too stubborn. We're fire and fire most of the time. Fire can't survive by only consuming fire; it needs another substance to fuel itself. Something more to keep the flames burning bright or it's going to snuff itself out."

"You're an idiot sometimes Peeta, you know that?" He says bluntly. "You're not fire and fire. Katniss and Gale were fire and fire. You were her bread, you were the one thing that could keep her alive and keep her going. You two have simply just become stale bread now." He says, handing me back the bottle of alcohol.

"Alright, since you seem to know so much about what's going on between Katniss and I, tell me what you mean and how we can fix it." I tell him, exasperated and not believing that he knew what he was talking about. Hero never really had had a successful relationship or understood what love meant.

"Well you two have hardened over time. Dried out. You two need to just start again. Start fresh. Sure you can have the stale bread sure, but we both know it's not very delicious and that it'll often times leave you feeling sick. You need to just start over Peeta, back from square one and pretend like the mistakes from your last run as a couple didn't happen." He explains matter-of-factly.

I scoff and shake my head. "You might just be crazy Hero but you might also just be onto something." I tell him, taking a long drink from the bottle.

Someone clears their throat behind us so Hero and I turn around to face the source. "Are we interrupting?" Gale asks sheepishly.

Gale, Rory, Finnick and Onyx are all standing at the foot of the porch and look anxious, nervous and a little sick. "No, not at all." I assure them.

They fall silent and Hero and I exchange nervous looks. A baby's cry however breaks through the silence, all our eyes landing on Onyx. Onyx pales and looks down at a pink bundle in his arms, making my heart stop. I'd recognize such a bundle anywhere.

Hero clears his throat nervously. "Um, Onyx, I don't mean to pry, but is that a baby in your arms?"

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><p><strong><em>Told ya it'd be long! (:<em>**

**_As promised now, when you review this chapter you will get a very lovely outtake! What outtake is this you might be wondering? Hmmm... Well here's a hint to get you to leave a review, it's from Finnick's PoV!  
><em>**

**_Anywho two more bits of news for y'all! Firstly, I've now learned how to use Twitter (for the most part) and if you wish to follow me, I'll be posting antics with my editor/manager/best friend as well as updates about my various stories and more! Look me up, I'm known as Ambird92 on it! (:  
><em>**

**_Secondly, if you aren't a friend/fan of mine on Facebook (if not you can find a link to my page on my profile here and I'd be more than happy to have you as a friend!) then you haven't heard the good news. Stale Bread now has audio! You can find it on my youtube which I will link on my profile page as well! Please note that as of this moment, there won't be any Spanish audio for it, sorry I can't speak it and the Spanish typed up version is still being worked on...  
><em>**

**_Anyway! Can't wait to hear what you have to say and looking forward to sharing the outtake with you! Next update for this story won't be up until after I update Bread on Fire or The Doctor's Game, sorry.  
><em>**


	14. Coward

_**The song for this chapter is Hallelujah by Kate Voegele. Please note that this chapter is unedited and REALLY will get fixed up soon, I'm just having a bit of trouble getting a hold of my Beta and didn't want to keep you wonderful readers waiting!**_

_**I don't own the Hunger Games sadly, that's all Suzanne Collin's amazing works.**_

_**I want to send a big thanks to my Beta, chocolate-chip-cookie-monster, already for helping me out with all three of my major fanfics!**_

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><p><em><em>_**Peeta**_

"I need a drink." Gale says going to the kitchen as soon as we enter the house.

"Seconded." Finnick says following Gale.

Rory says nothing as he walks in but Onyx walks slowly with Hero and I. My mom had come out and found us all staring at the baby in Onyx's arms. The cries from the infant had alerted her to the new arrival and she'd quickly kicked everyone else in the house out, telling them they could finish their work later.

I think personally they were all relieved.

Looking at my mother now, cooing over the baby, showing it off to my father who is also getting gooey, it almost makes me sick. "I need one too."

"Ditto brother… Ditto." Hero grumbles behind me and the two of us walk to the kitchen as well.

Onyx shuffles in along behind us and takes a seat at the large table. We all gather around it and take seats, Gale starting us off by passing around the bottle of his chose of alcohol. None of us speak and even Rueben joins us, sitting beside Onyx.

"She has Madege's eyes." Rueben remarks, relaxing back in his seat.

I snap my head to look at him in confusion. "Madge is dead, she died in the bombing of Twelve. Her body was found along with her parents."

"No." Onyx whispers, all of us turning to look at him in unison. "She was taken to the Capitol and held hostage there by Snow… He used her to gain supporters. They couldn't have Katniss or Prim, so Snow offered them another girl from Twelve and whom was close to Katniss. Delly was supposed to go as well but luckily they hadn't had time to grab her…" He begins, his eyes blank as he stares at the table and disgust coating every word like a vile poison.

I feel awful myself just hearing it.

"She was found just after Snow's demise. Since then she's been in the Capitol, receiving treatments for her mental injuries. It really took a toll her body as well and she was left weak in _so_ many ways. I was assigned to help her with her treatments, to be a sort of friend to her. Plutarch believed I could help her and in a lot of ways I guess I did… We fell in love about a year ago and secretly got married, only Plutarch knew. That's why I haven't been around much…" He explains, looking to Finnick with sad, hurt eyes. "We knew right away that she would never live to see the baby born. Did she care though? No! She wanted the baby to live at the expense of her own life! She left me with the baby while she's dead!" At this, tears start falling from his eyes.

Finnick gets up and places a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You didn't tell us any of this, why?" He whispered, looking at Onyx in a way only a father could look at his son.

Onyx lays his forehead against the table and shudders. "I was hoping that Madge would make the right choice and choose to live with me and not forfeit her life for that baby. I just thought that maybe she'd see it was her, not a baby that I needed in my life." He explains.

I can't help but get angry and stand up quickly, knocking my chair to the ground. "You don't deserve that baby in there anymore than you deserved Madge! Yes it is a terrible thing that Madge was lost, Rory, Gale and I can share your pain and Lord knows Katniss is going to feel betrayed, but you are throwing her last gift to you away like it's nothing! That's not just nothing in my mother's arms Onyx! That is _your_ baby! That is half you and half of Madge! She would be so ashamed of you if she were still alive!" I shout, not caring about keeping my tone low or what the excitement might do to me since there were still chances that I might relapse and have an attack.

Everyone falls silent and Onyx slowly lifts his head to look at me, I'm appalled by the hopeless look on his face. "You told me I was being an ass and acting like a child, well you need to take a good look at yourself. If you don't want that baby in there, then you need to get out of my house right now. I'll take care of her instead and she won't grow up with a selfish coward like you for a father." I growled, meaning every word of it.

For a moment, I actually thought he was going to stay, but he proved me wrong. He stood up slowly and hiccupped, anger boiling uncontrollably in me. "I'm sorry Peeta… I need time to accept her death before I take her."

Finnick looked at Onyx horrified. "What?" He demands.

"I'm sorry dad, but I can't… I just can't." With that, Onyx ran from the kitchen and out the back door.

We're all silent and I lean down to pick up my chair. I'm not really sure what to say or how to react. To be honest, I had thought he'd pick the baby over running. "Coward." I murmur bitterly.

The bottle of alcohol was placed before me and I hear my parents enter the room. I pick up the bottle and take a quick drink, my eyes glued to the table.

"What are you going to do Peeta?" My mother asks softly, making my anger quickly disappear.

"If it's alright with Finnick, I'll keep my word." I tell her honestly, slowly raising my eyes to look at Finnick.

Finnick looks torn and as if he's aged again suddenly, taking a seat slowly in the chair Onyx had abandoned. "Annie and I don't have anything set up for a baby since we haven't dragged anything back out of storage yet. We really can't take her in right now so I think it'd be best if you raised her for the time being Peeta…" He whispers, his voice sounding absent and distant.

I nod and suck in a deep breath. "Not sure how Katniss is going to react when she gets home, but I can deal with that then… Did he say if she had a name?" I ask, getting up and moving to my mom to admire the baby in her arms.

The baby looked up at me with blue eyes that I recognized from her mother. She looked so tiny and precious, one hand sticking out of the blanket that instantly wrapped around my pinky finger when I ran it lightly over the back of her hand. Already, I was hooked on this baby and couldn't help but think of Pearl when she was a new born or my son when he was born.

"He didn't tell us, he just referred to her as 'it'." Rory explains.

My mother's nose wrinkled in disgust at this. "That's not right, she deserves a name." She said with a huff.

I nod in agreement, a name coming to my mind. "Maysilee… Maysilee Cecelia Moethus." I whisper. As much as I hate it now because of what a spineless insect he is, I know I have to honor Onyx and Madge's marriage by giving her his last name and want to honor both Madge's fallen aunt and Onyx's fallen mother.

My mother nods and carefully hands me Maysilee, reminding me to support her head. "That's a beautiful name for her. I'm sure her great-aunt and grandmother would be proud of that name even if it didn't come from her father." My mother whispers.

"I agree Peeta. I think that's a wonderful name for my granddaughter." Finnick says before groaning.

I look at him in confusion, he suddenly looks sick. "What's wrong Finnick?" I ask, concerned for him.

He gags a bit before sucking in a deep breath. "I'm a grandfather… I, Finnick Odair, am now a grandfather…"

Everyone starts laughing and I look down at Maysilee who's now closed her eyes. "You hear that Maysilee? Your grandfather is having a bit of a hard time over there accepting just how old he's gotten…" I tease, my heart swelling with love and pride even though the baby in my arms isn't my own. I vow to myself in that moment though, no matter what, I would raise her as my own daughter since her father couldn't be bothered.

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><p><em><strong>Please read and review! Next chapter is going to be Katniss arriving in Four and facing Peeta... Also outtake next chapter!<strong>_


	15. Among Us

_**So because I never know if it's worth the warning or not, I'm gonna go ahead and issue a tearjerker warning... Better safe than sorry, right?**_

_**Also, there are a couple of reviews I just want to share! I know I should feel bad for them, but I get any kind of review/comment when I'm told I've made someone cry or get super angry, as in wanting to kill a character, I feel proud of myself and as if I'm doing the series justice.**_

_'afkjblskhfv ! why cant this really happen!? why! lol 3 it! why! le crys* lol'_

_'I listened to the music while I read this chapter and I can say that I am currently crying while I'm writing this. I thought the part where Peeta gives her a name is so sweet. :,)'_

_'Urgh I want to kill Onyx soooo bad that freaking coward! Rawr, I like literally tried to strangle him through the computer! Urgh!'_

_**You guys are all so amazing! Please keep reviewing and letting me know what you think either on here, Twitter or facebook!**_

_**The song for this chapter is 'My Child' by Plumb. I own nothing!**_

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><p><em><strong>Madge<strong>_

It's so strange, watching everything and not being seen by anyone other than infants and children. I know they can hear me as well, but only a few adults can hear me let alone feel my presence.

Six days I've been dead.

Six days I've watched my husband struggle to cope.

Six days I've watched the most precious thing of my existence struggle to adjust to life around her.

I was never violent in life; I was always quiet and kind to everyone. I was even nice to Gale Hawthorne when he tried to rattle my cage because I'd had the misfortune to be born the mayor's daughter. Katniss was my one friend up until I met Onyx and even we weren't close, we barely said two words to each other before I gave her the Mockingjay pin that had belonged to my aunt.

Watching Peeta explain to Katniss why he has a new born baby girl in their house, I realize that Katniss really is the best friend I ever could have wished for.

She's rounder than she should be at this stage in her pregnancy and I learned it from the hormones the doctors gave her in the Capitol to make her baby boy stronger. He's going to be a strong fighter, I already know this. I've already met him and know he's going to be so much his father son where Pearl is so much her mother's daughter. Katniss is going to be proud of the two of them; she's not going to regret all she's gone through to have them, especially now that she and Peeta are finally on the right track again.

Katniss is crying softly as Peeta explains to her what happened to me. I knew she'd thought I was already dead and so I can't help but wrap my arms around her. Neither one of us can feel it, but emotionally it helps to stable me. Peeta's eyes are watering too, but he hasn't really had a chance to cry over me because he's been so busy trying to gather things for the unexpected daughter he gained.

At this very moment, while Peeta is making a home for my beautiful daughter, her father is trying to drink himself to death in a hotel on the other side of the District. I can't bring myself to hate him although I am disappointed in him. I don't dwell on him however; I know I will have plenty of time for that, for now my daughter is my top priority.

Katniss carefully takes Maysilee from Peeta and cradles her close. I love the name Peeta picked out; personally I don't think I could have picked out a better name. I never thought of names for her because I wanted Onyx to name her, knowing I'd never live to see her even turn an hour old. I know my aunt Maysilee and Onyx's mother are both proud and pleased to have her named after them, I'd already spoken with them and had been with them when Peeta had picked the name.

"And Onyx just left? Just walked out without so much as saying if he was going to return on not?" Katniss whispers, gazing down at Maysilee. Pearl was excited by her but, Mrs. Mellark and Mr. Mellark had taken her with them to go see the beach, giving Katniss and Peeta a moment alone.

Peeta looks nervous as he moves to sit beside Katniss on the little love seat. "Y-yes. He didn't even have a name for her…" he chokes out.

I can't help but smile and stand up in front of them. I know they can't see me, hear me or sense me. I wish there was some way for me to show Peeta that it was going to be alright and to show Katniss that the unease she was feeling was for nothing. She has raised Pearl to be strong, beautiful, respectful and perfect, the same things she was going to do for my little girl.

"You poor little thing…" Katniss whispers, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. "You poor, little dear. You deserve so much more, your papa is correct."

Peeta looks at her a little confused. "Who's her papa?"

She laughs softly. "Peeta, I'm not going to take Madge's place. She already had a mommy, I want to be her mama, someone who she'll love just as much and will love her in return just as much but I don't want her to grow up thinking I took her mommy's place. I want the same for you. She has a daddy here still and even though it's not right what he's done, he's still her daddy. When she gets older and learns the truth, she can decide for herself if she's going to call us anything different, so until then…"

"Papa… That has has nice a ring to it as daddy…" Peeta says, grinning like a fool. "So this means we're keeping her? You're not mad at me for taking on another baby while we've still got a bun in the oven?" he asks cautiously, moving a hand over to rest on her stomach.

Katniss nods and tolls her eyes. "Of course I'm not mad and I would never send her away. What kind of mother would I be if I just said to take her back to her father or find someone else? Her mother was my best friend and until today, I thought of her father as my nephew, of course I want the best for her and who could make a better father than you Peeta Mellark?"

Peeta leans in and kisses her sweetly. "Katniss Everdeen, you are the best woman on the planet."

She blushes and laughs softly. "Just remember that in the next few months and when we have two fussy babies," she teases, resting her head against his shoulder. Both of them gaze down at sleeping Maysilee and my heart swells with joy, pride and love. I knew I had made the right decision the day I sat down at Katniss' table at school.

I kneel down and place a hand on Maysilee's head, leaning in and kissing the top of her head. "You, my little miracle are going to be incredible when you grow up. You will do great things in your life. Daddy and I do love you more than anything, you may grow up thinking he doesn't, but you are incredibly precious to him. I am so happy to have given my life for you. You are my accomplishment in life. I would not do anything any different and I will always love you. Mommy has to go now, but I trust you with your new mama and papa and promise I will come back to visit you as you grow older." I tell her softly even though I know Peeta and Katniss can't hear me.

Maysilee opens her eyes and peers up at Katniss and Peeta, making them both smile again. I look up at them as well and take a deep breath. "You'll never know how eternally grateful I am for this until the end, but you two are the best friends I could have ever asked for… " I whisper to them before closing my eyes. I know as I start to feel myself fade that if I did possess the ability to cry, I would have been crying very hard as I left them.

They wouldn't be tears of sorrow or regret.

No.

They'd be tears of sheer happiness.

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><p><strong><em>Was the warning helpful to any of you? Well anyway, review for an outtake! Outtake may take a day or two to get to you but it's about when Haymitch asked Effie to marry him as well as when Peeta asked Katniss! If you've missed any of the previous outtakes and want them, you can either PM me asking for them or I post them on my Facebook page.<em>**

**_That's all I've got for you that I can think of... Review here and help me meet my new goal of 300 reviews for this story, follow me on Twitter and or befriend me on Facebook to keep in the loop!_**


	16. IT'S A CONTEST!

_**TWITTER CONTEST!**_

Alright, so I find myself unable to write this next chapter/update because I am in need of name suggestions. I have spent many an hour on the internet trying to find an appropriate name for the new baby Mellark and have come to one conclusion…

Why now let my amazing and awesomely incredible readers pick the name?!

So with this thought I am announcing a two part contest!

It's simple really. You pick out the name you'd like (first and middle name) as well as if you'd like Everdeen, Everlark or Mellark for its last name. After you've picked a fabulous name, post it to Twitter, tagging me ( Ambird92) in it so that I get it. I will be accepting names from today (October 28th) through November 20th at 12:00 am Pacific Time.

From the names submitted to me from Twitter, I will be selecting the five I like the most. I will be posting these five here (ffn) to be voted on by all the other lovely readers of my fanfics. The voting will be open for a short amount of time. The one that gets the most votes will be selected as the name of newest Mellark addition.

Naturally as a contest there will be a prize.

The first place winner (the one who came up with name that receives the most votes) will have the Mellark named after it and they will get their own character in the story as well as secret outtake that no one else will receive.

Second place will get a preview to an upcoming chapter!

The only rules are simply to submit your Twitter submission within the time limit. This contest is open to anyone but submissions will only be accepted if submitted on Twitter, Facebook, PM or reviews containing name ideas will not be accepted for this contest.

Can't wait to see what you all come up with, good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor!


	17. Contest Update

_**TWITTER CONTEST UPDATE!**_

I have some new updates for the contest. Since I only had two submissions via Twitter, I have decided to expand this contest of naming the new Mellark boy. Thanks to Twitter deleting the tweets submissions I had and my computer saving the names God knows where, I've decided to change the contest. Between now and November 21st at 11:59 PM PT, I will accepting submissions via PM or timeline posts on Facebook, Tweets and PM and reviews here on FFn.

The rest of the contest will remain the same.

To those two who did submit names, I'm so sorry they got lost but please, PLEASE resubmit them so I can keep them in the running!

As always, may the odds be ever in your favor!

SS


	18. Contest Update0

Voting is now open here on my profile! Voting will only be open for a short amount of time so act fast!

Be sure to vote for your favorite and promote it!


	19. Reality

_**The new chapter is here!**_

**_I'm so sorry it took so long, writer's block is a hell of a thing. I am however proud to announce the winner of my contest...*insert drum roll* YUGottaBSoMean is the grand prize winner! So to you, congrats and keep your eye on your inbox for more details to come!  
><em>**

**_So without anymore delay, here is the song and chapter!  
><em>**

**_The song for this chapter is Wanted (Hunter Hayes) by Tyler Ward. Mostly it's just the chapter that sparked my imagination.  
><em>**

**_So enjoy!_**

_**Peeta**_

I sigh as I look out at the beautiful beach. It's definitely very different here this time of year than it is in District Twelve. Here there isn't any snow or ice.

Although it's nice not to have to worry about falling in the snow or slipping on ice from my bad leg, it also depresses me a little. The snow always reminds me of the moment I realized I knew that deep down inside her, Katniss loved me.

She had the biggest grin on her face as she ran from her house to me, my steps hurrying as I can't wait another second to be with her. I grip her tightly as our bodies collide, spinning her around and around until I slip and fall into the snow. I can't help but smile.

The kiss isn't one of our best, I can barely feel her lips on mine and she tastes too strongly of the lipstick. Still it's her kissing me.

I know everyone still thinks we're faking out love, but that look she gives me is enough to remind me of her whispered words. That she loves me no matter what.

"Your mind gone again Mellark?" Finnick's voice teases as he shuts the door into the kitchen and takes a seat without hesitation.

I laugh and grab two mugs to pour us coffee, something I've found I love no matter the weather.

"Think you own this place Odair?" I tease back in return, handing him his mug and sugar cubes.

Finnick laughs and puts two sugar cubes in his coffee, stirring them in slowly. Finnick looks exhausted, but I really don't blame him. He's had some troubles of his own that are more than enough to keep anyone up until the late hours.

"Have you tracked him down again?" I ask quietly, knowing he'll know exactly who I'm talking about.

He shakes his head and lets out a huff. "The last time he was spotted by one of our connections, he was just getting off the train in the Capitol after spending three days in District Twelve." He explains, looking down into his coffee.

Onyx had left District Four the day after Katniss got home. All he had left in his room were papers signed and ready for Katniss and I, saying he was giving us full custody of Maysilee to us. He asked that she be raised to know of her mother, grandmother, grandfathers and aunts great achievements in their lives but not know of him. Of his cowardly acts and his very short part in her life.

He mainly asked however that Katniss and I raise her as our own and not treat her any different than we would Pearl or our new son.

These are simple terms and yet Katniss and I haven't signed the papers yet…

"Seems like he's not going to be returning." I mutter, fixing up my coffee as I like.

Finnick sighs heavily and nods. "Seems so…" he trails off, sipping on his coffee. "How are things going here though? I haven't been able to leave Annie since Onyx dropped off Maysilee so I have no idea how you've been coping."

I shrug and smile weakly. "It's definitely different for me. I'm the only one around here not used to a baby. Pearl had to show me how to change her diaper for goodness sake." I groan, shaking my head.

Finnicks laughs and rolls his eyes. "Makes sense. At least it's good practice for when the baby comes around?"

"That it is… Pearl's getting so excited for him to get here and Maysilee has seemed to amp that excitement by tenfold," I groan, leaning back in my seat, closing my eyes. "The more excited she gets, the more scared Katniss becomes and the more nervous I grow."

"Oh that's perfectly natural, I'd be worried if you guys weren't like that. Let me guess those, Pearl has a name already in mind for the baby?" He presses; I can hear that smug smile of his in his voice.

"Yes…" I admit hesitantly, slowly opening my eyes to look at him curiously. For someone who's been unable to be over the last few days, he's sure knowledgeable about our situation it would appear. "How'd you know?"

He snickers and sets his coffee down on the table. "Echo got his name because Finn would talk to Annie's belly every night. He would swear he could hear the echo of his voice in the belly and so he pushed and fought until we agreed to name the baby Echo." He laughs.

I pale a bit as he talks but also thank my lucky stars that Pearl hasn't come up with something like that for baby.

"What's she come up with?" He pushes.

"Kyle Jacob Mellark is what she's insisting the baby goes by. She says that when she talks to Katniss' belly, she can hear him talking back. She asked him what his name was and he told her it was Kyle Jacob Mellark. Honestly I'm surprised she didn't want him named Everlark like her, I think that's what Katniss was going to do this time around…" I explain, drinking more of my coffee.

Finnicks sighs heavily and gets up to get himself more coffee. "So are you going to name him Kyle?"

"Of course, it's what makes her happy. Katniss and I both would do anything to keep her happy-"

"Even if it means letting her name your baby?"

"Oh god, we're wrapped around that little girl so badly it's going to hurt us one of these days…" I groan, laying my head on the table.

"Welcome to the club," Finnick laughs. "You're just seeing the tip of the iceberg, there's still a whole ton and a half of it you haven't seen yet. You're also just starting out at this fathering thing so you don't know what you're doing yet. You're still trying to make up for not being here during her infant days and well… You're going to make up for Onyx to Maysilee," he says, walking over to pat a hand on my shoulder.

"Will not," I try to argue half-heartedly.

"Yes you will. Annie and I are already planning on it so there's no doubt in our minds you will be in the same boat as us."

A laugh simply makes its way from my lips and I sip more of my coffee. "Whatever, we'll see how things turn out. Katniss and I haven't decided yet if we're going to sign the papers or file for temporary custody. There's a chance that Onyx'll want her back in the future and who are we deny him that right?" I ask, shrugging.

Finnick smacks the backside of my head as he passes by and rolls his eyes as he settles in the seat beside me. "You are a bigger fool than I thought Mellark! You and Everdeen both are idiots! Who are you to deny Onyx to see his daughter or try to take her away? Her father! Her mother! He freaking family, that's who! Peeta the moment you stood up to Onyx and told him to man up or get out, you became that baby girls father. I can't imagine anyone better to raise that little girl who will give her some sense of normalcy or make her feel more loved than you and Katniss," Finnick growls, looking at me sternly. "If you don't sign those papers Peeta, you will be no better than her dead beat father."

His words hit me like a ton of bricks.

He's right.

I groan and lay my head on the table. "Pearl's going to be absolutely ecstatic."

"I would hope so."

"I'm going to be raising your granddaughter."

"Couldn't ask for a better parent for her."

"I'm going to have to convince Katniss to remarry me so that we can do this. One of Onyx's stipulations is that Katniss and I remarry or she goes to a home..." I mutter, closing my eyes as a sick feeling washes over me. It had taken me a long time to figure out how to ask Katniss to marry me the first time let alone how to do it the second time! I had no idea how to do it again, there was no guarantee she'd want to go through a third engagement...

Finnick snickers and pats my back. "I think I have an idea or two on how you can do that one my friend," he tells me, and I suddenly feel even sicker.

I'm going to ask Katniss Everdeen to marry me... For the third time...

**_There you go! Now another chapter isn't going to be coming around until after I update either The Doctor's Game or Bread on Fire, so hopefully the writing God's will smile upon me and let me get one of those done quickly!_**

**_Review!  
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**_Review!  
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**_Oh please for the love of God, review!  
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	20. Time

**_It's finally up! The song for this one that got me inspired is Just Give Me A Reason from Sam Tsui. I'm sorry for any mistakes, I did not have a beta for this chapter sadly... But I'm hoping to have one back for my next chapters! Anyway, please enjoy this little chapter and I hope I haven't lost too many of you wonderful readers!_**

**_Katniss_**

Time really has flown in the last few months. Kyle is getting stronger within me, Maysilee is getting bigger and Pearl is in school now. Three months and it's felt like just a day or a few hours. It's just so hard to accept it all!

Peeta has been doing really good as well. He's adjusted to our crazy life just as well as when we were younger and on the Victory Tour. He's been itching to go back to Twelve though. His parents and family returned there for the winter, wanting the snow and change of pace. He's anxious now that they're out of sight, something no one blames him for, but they are sure to call and check in quite often. Honey calls the most though, promising to be home in time to see Kyle born and help. It's good that they're there though, they've been helping Jasmine and Henry, who have settled into Haymitch's old house.

There really isn't much reason for Peeta to be so nervous, there's no threat and things have been smooth all around thus far. I guess it's just lucky that the pregnancy is too risky to allow me to travel and he is too scared to leave my side. Oh well, I guess he will just have to trust me and accept that he can't always be with them all the time.

While all of us are still worried about how adjustment is going for all of our friends and relatives, the ones who are adjusting the best are my dad and . Pearl adores her grandfather's Mellark and Everdeen more than anything in the world. She adjusted to them quickly and while Barley has been away, my dad has been quick to step up and be there in his place. However, my dad and never leave poor Prim alone. One of them is usually always with her, making sure she's not going to be dropping those twins anytime soon. is always torn between Prim and Joe though, it's obvious how much he adores his grandchildren.

Even Annie and Finnick are getting in on the growing family joy once more. Annie announced she was pregnant not long after we left the Capitol. We've nicknamed the pregnancy Project Aneurism with much love and affection though. Annie nearly had one whenever she found out she was pregnant and Finnick had one as soon as Gale and Peeta started teasing him about how it was his and Annie's turn to have a girl. It's been rather entertaining. Really though, it couldn't have happened at a better time though to be perfectly honest.

District Four has a holiday tradition based off the old holiday of Christmas. Since it doesn't snow here in Four, they choose to celebrate the winter season with this old holiday. It's really fun, full of food and presents for everyone. It's always been Pearl's favorite time of the year and so it's thrilling that Peeta is getting to share it with us for the first time. As well as Maysilee of course, his Christmas and Maysilee's as well.

I can't help but laugh as I sit on our bed with him, looking over all of the gifts he's bought our daughters alone. I pick up a frilly pink dress and look at him skeptically. "Maysilee's not even going to remember any of this Peeta." I tease, watching him wrap everything carefully.

He rolls his eyes at me and huffs. "Doesn't matter, I will remember it. You will remember it. Pearl will remember it. All that matters is how we remember it." He assures me, also tacking on one of his irresistible grins.

I laugh and toss the dress away with a sigh. "Posy should be here in the morning, that'll be nice."

Peeta lets out a snort and shakes his head. "We're going to be getting a call soon from Paylor, asking us to keep our family from taking over the District at this point."

"Are not! This is Posy's first trip to Four, the first time she is seeing her niece and the first time in how many years that she's going to see her dad? Paylor wouldn't dare to try and interfere in that."

"We'll see what happens Kat, but I fear we are going to have the entire Mellark and Hawthorne clan here to join the Odairs and Everdeen clan in the hostage takeover of Four.". He says with a playful wink.

I can't help but laugh as I lean in to kiss his temple. "It's not hostage if the locals welcome us.". I counter pleasantly.

He has no quick wit come back so I happily accept my victory and tilt off the bed. "C'mon, everyone is waiting down stairs to light the candles."

Peeta nods and reluctantly moves away from the bed. "I guess I will finish wrapping all of these in the morning." He huffs, rubbing the back of his neck in frustration.

I laugh and roll my eyes once more. "You are going way over board Mellark and Pearl is going to expect this every year from now on."

"Well then good… I have a lot of time to make up for and I want to spoil my little girls." He tells me happily, moving to my side so he can wrap his arms around me. "_All_ my girls happy."

"Well right now, this mama wants to get downstairs to her daughters and get the winter traditions going."

He nods and starts helping me downstairs. It's a tradition that Finnick's family has done for ages that he showed us all. Pearl loves the lighting of the candles and I know it's her favorite thing about the holidays.

Just as I had expected, Pearl is anxious and bouncing around when we finally hit the bottom step. "Mama, you and daddy took forever!". She chastises.  
>I laugh and look up at Peeta, who is looking rather sheepish. "That's daddy's fault.". I explain, quick to throw him under the bus to our daughter.<p>

She puts her hands on her hips and pouts out that lower lip of hers, giving him her best stern face. Peeta can't help but laugh and ruffle her hair. "Sorry sweetie, daddy was just making sure mommy got your presents set for tomorrow." He lies, giving me a wink.

The jerk just the _me_ under bus.

I scowl as Pearl's attentions turns to me. "You don't have them all ready!" She gasps, amazed and almost hurt.

I lean down to her level as best I can, a hard feat considering how large I am, and look her in the eyes. "Mommy has everything ready for you sweetling, promise."

She nods and drops her hands from her hips. "Good, now can we light candles?" She asks excitedly, the present debacle a distant memory already.

My mom and dad lounge by the fire, cuddled on the love seat with Maysilee as Pearl pulls Peeta and I to the window. Peeta looks at me curiously and I give him a reassuring smile.

"The Odairs like to honor their missing loved ones by lighting candles for them. A different color or scent for each member of their family or friends that they've lost or are missing. We usually light more candles, but we've had more family members and friends returned to us this year." I explain, grabbing a lighter from beside the candles.

"I also make a wish on the big white one!" Pearl explained with a huge grin.

Peeta knelt down to eye level with her with a happy smirk. "Is that so? Do you want to tell daddy what you're to wish for this year?"

She blushed lightly and looked at him like he was silly. "I always wish for my daddy and it came true so I don't know what to wish for. I got you to come home with mommy and I, I have a new sister and a brother on the way." She sighs as looked to me for help.

"Maybe you should wish for something you think will make your life even better this year?" My mom suggests.

She furrows her brow, that intense thought look crossing her sweet, little face. She nodded however and I could almost see the little gears turning desperately in her mind. Her whole world had changed so much in the last year, was another change really what she needed?

"Come along little one, you can think of your wish while we light the candles." I tease her softly, gently nudging her towards the window.

I know that over at the Odairs, they are silent as they light for their friends and relatives. The Hawthornes are probably celebrating the birth of their daughter, Prim's upcoming delivery, Posy's visit and the return of a key member in their family. Our home however is a cross between the two.

We are thrilled with the return of family members, Peeta's joining our family again and Kyle's soon arrival and Maysilee. But we have also lost Haymitch and Peeta and I have a lot still to overcome not only individually but also as a couple. There is still a lot for us to work with and it will take time to get through, but we will persevere as we always do and have.

Peeta helps Pearl to light all the candles, saying each name as they are lit. He really is such a good father to Pearl and in turn the little girl absolutely adores him. I hate myself more and more with each day for depriving them of each other, for letting so much cloud my judgment. If I had not ran away, who knows where we might've been instead. Had a whole gaggle of children? Still living in Twelve?

The whole list of what ifs played on a near constant loop in her mind it seemed. I couldn't linger on them however, Kyle's activity bring me back to reality. Well that and the frantic knocking on the front door. My dad however waves for us to continue as he gets the front door.

"I'm so sorry to interrupt but I need and Katniss quickly. Prim's gone into labor early! Posy, my mom and Johanna are with her now, she's over at Gale's place, but I think she is gonna kill them all." A very distraught sounding Rory chokes out, gasping heavily for breath.

I turn quickly to my mom who is rising carefully. "Peeta, come take Maysilee… Katniss, get your shoes on." She says calming.

I nod and kneel down in front of Pearl. "Auntie Prim is about to have her babies…. I'm sorry sweetling but you're going to have to finish the candles with daddy." I tell her, kissing her forehead.

She nods and hugs me quickly. "Oh-tay… Daddy and I will even make our wishes."

I smile and nod, looking up at Peeta as he takes Maysilee. "We'll be fine Katniss, now go to Prim before she kills her other family." He laughs softly, extending a free hand to help me up.

I kiss his cheek as my mom hurries back from her room, medical bag in hand and starts to usher me out of the house and towards my sister's screaming.

_**I'm still alive! I've been dealing with a lot and struggling to get the ending perfect for The Doctor's Game and I'm terribly sorry for all the waiting! I am still trying super hard for the perfect way to close TDG and I will make it worth all the wait! The song for this is going to be put on a different playlist since my youtube got hacked and I had to make a new one... Please let me know what you think though!**_


	21. A Very Merry Christmas

_**Hope you enjoy! Sorry for any mistakes, no Beta so I most likely missed quite a few things, sorry... Anyway, please read and review, I love to know what you think! There just may be an outtake in it for you...  
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><p><em><strong>Peeta<strong>_

"I don't understand the rules of this game." I groan, tossing my cards down and scrubbing my hands over my face.

It's three in the morning and the twins have yet to still be born. All of the other kids are crashed out in front of the fireplace. It's actually a cute picture if it weren't for the fact that Finn's arms are wrapped protectively around my daughter.

"Want to know what I hope for every night before I go to bed Odair?"

"That Katniss will let you get lucky?" Finnick teases, causing Gale and my brothers to roar with laughter.

I roll my eyes and grin devilishly. "From the way Katniss talks, it seems she lets me have more that Annie lets you."

More laughter rings from the men at the table and Gale pats my back. "Good point!"

"What are you talking about Hawthorne, everyone on this planet gets some more than Johanna lets you!"

"Now that's harsh." I laugh, shaking my head. This isn't the turn I'd been taking with this conversation, but it's fine. This banter, it helps me feel more accept because let's be honest, these guys aren't my number one fans. After what I did to Katniss, they have every right to hate me and want me out of her life and Pearl's.

"But true…" Gale mutters, downing the last of his liquor and motioning for more.

"Anyway, as delighting and uplifting as it is to know that Mason hasn't lost her touch and can still torture a man like the best of them, but where are you going with this Mellark?" Finnick presses, looking at me over his cards.

"Right, so when I go to bed, I stroke Katniss' belly and whisper to my son that I hope if he wanted to go after the pretty Odair girl when she's born, I'm perfectly alright with that. I would love nothing more than to see you go through what I am."

"Ah, I'd be perfectly alright with that one." Finnick shrugs, setting his cards down along with my eldest brother, Rueben.

"Oh, you'd be alright with a Mellark boy trying to get into your daughter's pants?" Gale asks, clearly dumbfounded as he eyes my middle brother Hero, the last two men with cards.

"As an Odair, I plan to raise my boys to never fail like their father. Finn's already picked up quite a bit, I mean look at him!" We all turn to eyeball the way Finn and Pearl are snuggled together. "This is just puppy love… I want my boys to know how to snag the girl of their dreams… They'll know what to do."

"And my son?"

"No offense, but if the father doesn't even know what to do, how's he supposed to teach his son?" A howl of laughter from the table rises up.

I shake my head and lounge back in my seat. "Apparently I know enough to have my second child on the way."

"Are you sure it was you leading, or was it Katniss?" Rueben snickers.

"Hey, I thought Kyle was your third?" Hero ponders with a loud grown, throwing his cards on the table and allowing Gale to collect the small pile of change in the middle of the table.

A deep frowns turns down my lips as I cast another side glance to my little angel. "I don't know about Katniss, but I don't like to talk or think about it…" I whisper, finishing my own drink.

Hero nods and pours us both another drink. "Seems like a good idea." He agrees.

"So any bets on which one is gonna be born first?" Gale grins, starting to deal out the cards again.

"Better question is, when." Finnick laughs, picking his cards up.

"My bet is that Christmas presents will be delayed." I pitch in with a shrug, rubbing my chin at the look of my cards.

"The kids won't be thrilled." Ruben points out, already tossing a couple coins into the middle of the table.

"Nothing we can do about it though, we promised the girls and the parents we'd wait until the twins were born so the whole family can celebrate." Finnick sighs heavily. "Are you still gonna propose Mellark.

"Depends on how tired and grouchy she is… I'm not going to ask her when she's had a huge lack of sleep, Kyle is acting up or if something is wrong with one of the twins, that a surefire way to get a no from her."

"So you're probably not going to ask tonight?" Rueben asks surprised.

Another shrug and a long sigh. "I love Katniss with all my heart, but I want this to be perfect. I've proposed eight times now, none of them seemed right or perfect, I just wanted this one to be different."

"How so?"

"Katniss likes subtlety, privacy and most of all, she likes the little details."

"Alright then baby bro, if you were going to give Katniss her dream proposal, how would you do it?"

I pause and chew on my lower lip. That's a very good question honestly, I know I've thought it over a lot, but never really imagined exactly how I'd do it. "I guess, I'd make it where it's just her, Pearl and I, definitely before Kyle is born though." I muse, sitting back and motioning for another card. "Maybe during dinner, I'd slip down in front of her and take her hand, asking her if she'd be willing to give us another try."

"Any idea what you would say?" Finnick asks, truly curious sounding.

"Actually, that much I do know… Katniss, I've loved you since the first day of school, you've captured my heart and my soul with the first note you ever sang and I've always known you'd be the only girl I'd marry. Now you're a full grown woman with a daughter and son on the way. I know I've done some terrible, awful and even unspeakable things to you and Pearl, but I'm a desperate man when it comes to you. I'm begging you Katniss, for another chance, one last chance to make it all right and to give you the life you deserve. The life we deserve together, fought through two games and a war for. Katniss Everdeen, please marry me and give this desperate shell of a man a true and honest reason to exist again."

There's a pause, utter and still silence around me for a moment before a small 'hmph' noise shatters it.

Turning slowly, I'm faced with a flushed and teary Katniss, a small delicate smile on her lips. "Not exactly the conversation I envisioned coming home to after helping deliver my niece and nephew…" She trails off, moving to pick up Pearl, the other ladies close behind.

"The twins are both healthy and perfect, Rory and Prim couldn't be happier." Annie reported, moving to kiss Finnick's cheek. "They're going to try and get some rest though, we should do the same… Let's get the boys and head home."

"That sounds like an excellent idea, I'm sure our parents will be over nice and early for gifts." Finnick agrees, tossing his cards down and moving to collect his boys.

"Same here, with new additions to the family, I think it's best to get an early start Jo." Gale suggests, getting up and heading in with Finnick.

"That's it, game's over?" Hero exclaims, obviously disappointed. "I finally had a hand to kick Hawthornes ass and he's leaving?"

"You can give it another tomorrow night, for now, I think we all need rest for the big day ahead of us tomorrow." Rueben agrees, patting my shoulder and collecting the cards, as well as the change when he thinks no one is looking.

I nod and stand, too embarrassed to look at Katniss now that she's overheard at least a little part of my proposal speech. It's a weak one I know, she deserves more; prettier words, more memories and a token to physically display my affections just like the pearl ring I gave her at Haymitch and Effie's party. "Here, I'll give you guys a hand." I tell them, gathering things up and getting the door for them.

Once the Odairs and Hawthornes have left, my brothers head to bed and I'm left alone with my thoughts for a second, listening to Katniss putting Pearl to bed. I didn't put a lot of thought into just how I would propose for Christmas or even if it would be special to Katniss or what she wanted, but now that I was, I felt like a fool. She'd never be happy with it certainly, it would be something she'd just want over as quickly as it started and this time around, I wanted no mistakes. I would be lucky for one last chance at the love of my life, and I'd be damned if I was going to let something horrible or negative happen this time around. You only get so many chances in life, and the love Katniss and I shared was really no different.

No, I would wait for the actual right time, not because I felt rushed or because the idea was put in my head by a horndog.

"Daddy?" A little voice calls, bringing a smile to my face and pulling me from my thoughts.

"One second honey." I call in return, making my way up the stairs. It was second nature to me now, all the range of movement I have with my false leg. It doesn't take me near half the time to make it up the stairs as it did when I first got it.

"Daddy, your little girl needs a word with you." Katniss laughs softly, meeting me at the top of the stairs. "I'll be in bed when you're done, I think we need to have our own little tonight too."

A nod is the only response I can think to give her before heading into our daughter's room. One thing at a time I remind myself and smile for my sweet little baby. "Hey princess, what's up buttercup?"

"Sit daddy, we need to have a talk." She says in her serious voice, patting beside her bed.

I try my hardest not to laugh because I can see that she wants to be serious, but she's just too adorable really. "I know that look darling… What's troubling your mind?"

"You and mommy."

"What about us darling? There's nothing wrong with mommy and I." I laugh, taking my seat and stroking her hair.

"Mommy says change is coming and I'm scared because the last time change happened, you moved in and mommy got Kyle. I don't want you to leave or Kyle or even Maysilee! I love grandma and grandpa Mellark and Deen, I don't want to lose anyone!"

A chuckle does leave me and I pull her closer. "I love you baby girl, you are the greatest thing to ever happen to your mommy and I. You are my little girl and I won't let anyone or anything take me away from you again. I will always love you and I will be here for you and mommy until the end of time." I promise, kissing her forehead. "I wouldn't dream of missing a moment of Kyle's life and Maysilee is as precious to me as you are, I'm not going anywhere… In fact, I want to stay here forever with you and mommy. I'm going to ask mommy to marry me again here very soon so that she and I can be together and we can be the family we were supposed to be." I whisper, giving her a wink.

Her eyes go wide and her mouth falls open into a large 'O'. "Really?" She gasps out before covering her mouth. "Is it a secret?"

I nod and smile more. "Yes it is, but only for a little while longer." I tease, respite the fact that it's not really anymore, not since Katniss walked in on me talking about it.

"Do you have a ring yet? You have to give her a ring!" She demands, scrambling out of bed and over me quickly. "I have a ring grandma Effie gave me! She gave it to me when she came out to see me last time, she said it was a very special ring to her."

I get up and follow her, curiosity, actually getting to me. "Baby girl, I have time to get a ring, I can get her a whole new one." I tease, knelling beside her as she looks through the little jewelry box I recognize once belonging to Effie.

Effie and Haymitch must have loved spoiling Pearl.

"If things are going to change daddy, you need to change with them. That means you have to do it soon." She sighs, obviously upset a bit that I didn't see that or understand it.

"How did you get to be so smart little one?"

"When I was born to Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark… Or that's what grandpa Haymitch always used to tell me…" She whispers, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. "I miss him…"

"So do I pumpkin… So do I…" I agree, pulling her close again. "Now where is this ring at?"

She smiles and hands me a box. "Don't look inside until you give it to mommy, promise me daddy." She makes me look at her so I can see how serious she was.

I nod and pick her up, taking the box. "I promise baby, now let's get you to bed."

She nods and allows me to tuck her in. "Grandma Effie used to tell me all the time, 'if you put enough pressure on coal, it turns into a pearl.' Grandpa would laugh at her, but she told me that enough pressure was put on you and mommy that you got me, your little pearl and I was the prettiest little one she'd ever seen in her life."

I laugh and remember fondly the first time I ever heard her say that, the look Katniss and I exchanged in shock of her ignorance. As well as the look of confusion on Finnick's face when I gave Katniss the pearl and repeated those words. To know that she used her silly mistake as a way to compliment my daughter when I wasn't around, it's comforting.

"It's true, you are the prettiest pearl I've ever seen in my whole life and I've seen a lot."

"Even prettier than the pearl you gave mommy?" She whispers in disbelief, reaching up to touch the necklace around her neck.

"Even prettier than that one, now no more discussion, you have a big day tomorrow and an early morning!" I chastise with a smile, knowing I could never be angry with the angelic baby girl in my arms. I may not have been around for the start of her life, but I making up for it the best way I could and pouring all my love into her so she would always know how precious and perfect she is to me. One day she would know and understand the truth and one day I hoped she would forgive Katniss and myself for our mistakes.

"Sweet dreams, sleep tight and don't let bed bugs bite." She tells me, kissing my cheek and snuggling under all her blankets, warm and safe. How I envy her for never wondering or fearing where she would get a meal or what would happen to her in the morning or going without anything.

"You too sweetheart, you too…" I whisper, slowly shutting the door.

"I love you daddy." She whispers just as the I'm about to shut it and a warm smile comes to my lips. No matter how many times those four words come from her, I'm always struck deep to my core with warmth and happiness.

"I love you most of all princess." I reply, all too happy to remind her all the time that I did in fact love her and want her in my life.

Although I didn't understand Katniss before on why she left, I see it now. I feel terrified to touch her stomach, feel our son kicking and stretching, afraid I'm going to press too hard and make him uncomfortable or harming him. To think of what I did to poor Katniss when she was expecting Pearl, it made me sick, but it makes me see her reasoning now. She didn't know if I was safe or not to be around Pearl and I would never life with myself if I had harmed her further. Hell, I'm lucky I didn't hurt her when I attacked Katniss and caused permanent damage them both more than the emotion pain of Katniss. The constant fear and worry of harming my unborn son, it's almost enough to make me not want to sleep in the same bed as her!

My biggest thing has been keeping Katniss stress free though. We both have been terrified since she almost lost Kyle and have been taking things as easy as possible and making her as comfortable as we can. Katniss asking for a talk doesn't make me too happy though, I didn't mean to worry her and I don't want her to think I'm trying to pressure her into anything. When and if we remarry, I want it to be because of our love and not because she feels like she absolutely has to.

Oh God, did I make her think I was only wanting to marry her to give the kids a traditional family? This thought alone sends a chill down my spine and freezes my hand on the doorknob. I have the feeling I have a lot to explain and make up for, causing my shoulders to sag.

No time better to start than the present, right?

Slowly opening the door, I ready myself for pacing and attacks from the lovely woman who I'll have to calm down and remind to breathe for the sake of not delivering a third baby this evening…

Katniss is rocking Maysilee, singing to her softly and stroking her cheek. At the sound of the door shutting, she turns to smile shyly up at me. "Hey… how was the talk with Pearl?" She whispers, obviously trying not to disturb the sleeping baby in her arms.

"It went well…" Pleasant surprise settles on my chest as I silently shut the door.

"That's good… She insisted that she talk to you alone, although I don't know why." She sighs, looking back to Maysilee.

"I promised I wouldn't tell yet." I laugh, kneeling in front of her to stroke the back of Maysilee's hand.

I don't understand still how Onyx could just up and leave his daughter the way he did. Yes, he has every right to be distraught, but he has a child, a living memorial to his wife and his mother, someone who loved him without question. He'd never know what he has been missing out on, or when he does, it'll be far too late. His loss, Katniss and I's gain.

"Of course… You two are always sharing secrets aren't you?" She laughs, shaking her head.

"That's for her and I to know alone… You look exhausted hun, let me put her to bed and get you in as well." I suggest, starting to reach for May before Katniss stops me.

"Hold up, I just want to hold her for a couple more moments." She pleads, rocking her.

"Whatever you want darling, I only want to make you happy." I laugh, getting up to go to my dresser to grab my pajama pants.

"Then why don't you still ask me?"

A snicker leaves me as I change quickly and toss my shirt aside. "Ask you what? Whenever I have a question, I always ask you." I point out, rolling my eyes.

"That's why I'm confused…" She sighs heavily. "When I asked Finnick to plant the idea of another marriage in your mind, I figured you'd be chomping at the bits, but then I heard you telling the guys you weren't going to…"

I pause and slowly turn to look at her in utter confusion and disbelief. "Wait, you put Finnick up to talking to me?"

She looks sheepish and shifts nervously in her seat. "Well, you didn't seem to be making any moves forward and I was getting too anxious and nervous so I talked to Finnick… I want to make Maysilee legally our daughter, not Onxy's, and I want to be Katniss Mellark again… Having Finnick drop the hints and talk to you again about formally adopting May seemed like the best bet…" She admits slowly, pausing and trailing off as if she's searching for just the right words and order to speak.

"I knew he seemed a little too pushy…" I groan, shaking my head due to my ignorance.

"So… I'm going to just stop beating around the bush and say it again Mellark. I love you. I'm the mother of your children and I have been to the deepest and darkest pits of Hell and back again, I think I deserve to have my title as Mrs. Mellark back." She says firmly, standing up and placing Maysilee in her basinet.

I rub my chin and try to put all the pieces of this puzzle together. "Are you asking me to marry you Katniss Everdeen?"

"No, I'm begging you to ask me!" She groans, turning to face me with crossed arms. "I'm not asking for what we had before, I want to go back to our basics. To our roots."

"You mean no ring? No big wedding? Just me asking you and having a toasting after filing the papers?" I ask, just wanting to be clear.

She nods and smiles weakly. "I was hoping we could do it just like in Twelve."

I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around her. "Katniss Everdeen, you are stubborn, controlling, confusing and will most likely cause me to have an aneurism someday, but you're right… I love you and you've given me the family I have always hoped to have someday. I want to continue on this road with you and see just where it takes us… It's going to be bumpy, crazy and at times you're going to want to beat me over the head with my metal leg, but I can promise that it's going to be well worth it." I laugh, resting my forehead against hers. "Please, after all the presents are open, in the presence of all our friends and family, toast with me. Marry me… again?"

She laughs almost as hard as me, crying and nodding. "Of course, when you put it like that, how could a girl refuse?"

I can't help but feel overjoyed and pick her up, spinning her around. "I promise you, you won't regret this Katniss!" I glance at my pants over her shoulder, the box visible in the pocket. Katniss said no ring for engagement, but she didn't say anything about wedding rings. It would make Pearl happy and I wasn't about to make her frown on what was to be a truly happy day.

Katniss could suck it up, right?


	22. I AM RETURNING!

First of all, I just want to say thank you to everyone who is reading this because it means you've stuck with me this while time.

This last year has been a very long and stressful year for me. I got married finally and had to plan that out, as well as the honeymoon. I had a very stressful job that left me so mentally exhausted that writing wasn't possible. Then I started the process of moving with my husband to our very own house.

So as you can kind of tell, it's been a very busy year for me and writing hasn't really been able to be my top priority.

I also had a bit of a hit to my confidence with some very bad reviews. I'm human, I make errors and I appreciated being told, I just wasn't expecting such harsh ones or for being torn apart over it.  
>I've moved on from it all now and I will be writing more! This is my return announcement and I am thrilled to say it! A new update will be coming in the next day or two, cross my heart! I haven't given up on these stories, they are still my pride and joy and I hope you won't give up on me!<p>

Thank you so much everyone, you're the best fans and the most patient! Happy new year and don't lose faith in me this year please


	23. Christmas

_**Peeta**_

Christmas by far is my favorite day so far.

Katniss had insisted Pearl have handmade items and that's just what she got from us. Katniss crocheted her a blanket, doll and sweater. I made her paints, crayons, chalks and sketched out some pictures for her to color since she expressed interest in being an artist like me. While I know she loved them, I know almost certainly that her grandparents and uncles stole her favorite gift awards.

made her a bow. It's a tiny thing, the arrows having no tips so she can't get hurt, but it's perfect for her to learn on. Soon I could see her hunting like her mother, though never for anything other than fun. made her perfumes. While she's still too young for them in my opinion, she made them sweet smelling. There was one of sweet pea blossoms and ones of the ocean breeze; practice, as she called them.

My father baked her two dozen of her favorite cookies, white chocolate chip raspberry. My mom made her an apron and baking mittens, as well as a small book of simple things that she was going to teach her to make. My brothers made her necklaces, one from a pearl, another a shell and the last one made ashes from the family bakery in Twelve so she could always have a little piece of it next to her heart.

Of course the others bought her things. Pretty dresses Finn and Echo insisted she have, a couple of hair accessories as well from just Finn. Gale and Johanna gave her some clothes for the doll from Katniss, as well as some canvas to draw on since they knew what we were giving her. Her aunt Prim and uncle Rory gave her a puppy, though they were going to let her pick it out on her own.

Everyone even got a few things for little Maysilee, though Finnick and Annie went overboard on spoiling on. She got frilly dresses, cute toys and cuddly new stuffed animals. Everyone made sure she wasn't left out of all the days fun.

As far as I could tell, she'd had a pretty successful day! The adults didn't really exchange gifts, we had to many kids to provide for that it didn't matter. The girls were all so tired from either being pregnant or just having the babies, that they didn't have the energy to shop and us men couldn't think of anything to get any of them. Either that or we were still getting to know our relatives again.

Katniss and I had kept our engagement a secret though. I had run out first thing in the morning to get paper work from the Hall of Justice since it was open half the day. We signed the papers and were going to do our toasting after everyone went to bed and file the papers in the morning. No sense in making a big deal out of it. This was our second wedding and third engagement, nothing special.

Katniss and I now had time to reflect on our day, our last few months and where we were headed. Once more married, she laid curled up against me, one of my hands lightly drawing on her stomach. She looked exhausted, but she was still every bit as beautiful to me today as she was all those years ago. Of course things had changed and we both looked at each other differently, it was not a bad thing.

The Capital had conspired to keep us apart, but fate had brought her back into my arms at long last. Pearl was so beautiful, a perfect mix of us both. Maysilee, while not ours biologically, was every bit my daughter as Pearl. She would grow up with Katniss and I as her parents, a big sister and little brother, will all the love in the world. Feeling Kyle under my fingers, pushing and kicking against my hand, it's an amazing feeling I can't ever describe. I hate that I missed this with Pearl, but so happy I get the experience now.

Katniss insisted on having the radio on, she loves the music, she says it keeps her calm and Kyle too. Whatever makes her happy, makes me happy. A sweet love song some on and I smile, a sudden urge hitting me.

I stand slowly and pull her with me, smiling at her confusion. "Trust me." I tell her, kissing her cheek.

She sighs and rolls her eyes. "When haven't I trusted you Mellark?"

"Well Mellark, shall I start listing off the ways?" I tease, pulling her close.

She giggles at this, blushing some, though she tries to hide it. I love it, it makes me feel like when we were younger. Her hair has a few silver strands and my eyes have a laugh lines that have deepened. Neither of us has the energy, nor the guts, to do what we used to, but that matters none to me.

"Amazing… I can make the famous, fierce and strong Katniss Everdeen turn red and laugh like a little girl. How in the world did I ever get so lucky as to snag you?" I ask softly, starting to slowly dance with her.

"Maybe it's because you're the only one crazy enough to put up with me?" She laughs, kissing my cheek. "No one else on earth would put up with what you have. I dragged you into war, caused every bad thing in your life, divorced you, ran away with both your babies and hid away without a single word. I'd say you're cursed, not lucky."

I pull back to smile broadly. "Katniss Mellark, you have been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Every bad thing that's happened has had a silver lining and brought me closer to you. Without any of these troubles, I never would have appreciated you the same way. I don't think I'd be standing here today, the proud father of three and once more a happily married man." I tell her honestly. "Never look at our mishaps as mistakes or bad things, look at them as things that are only serving to better us."

She has tears in her eyes by the time I'm done. She's speechless for a moment and leans in to kiss me deeply. "I'll always love you Peeta Mellark. I've tried not to, but you will always be the keeper of my heart. You're a fantastic father, better husband than I've ever deserved and the best man Panem has ever produced. I love you more now than all those years ago and I will never stop." She vows, laying her head on my chest.

"I love you too Katniss." I whisper, kissing the top of her head.

I enjoy the feeling of holding her close, knowing she's all mine until the day I day I die.

What more could happen to us now? Life wouldn't be easy necessarily, but we could handle anything that comes our way. After everything that's been tossed our way, raising three children and living life as normal people couldn't very difficult.

"I want to move back to Twelve Peeta, I'm ready." She tells me suddenly, pulling me from my musings.

"Oh?"

"Yes. It's not the same place as when we grew up, but it is our home. You have a bakery there that I'm sure you're missing and the whole District is as well. You family is moving back, I doubt mine will, but we can visit quite often. We have a whole life waiting for us back home and our children deserve to know where their roots started. Let's face the facts, obviously we are meant to be there considering two of our children were conceived in Twelve."

I can't help but laugh at this last part and kiss her forehead. "We can start packing tomorrow if you'd like. I think we can still make it back in time to enjoy the snow. Pearl will love it. Maysilee will be close to her mom's memories so she can know her too and I'll be happy to bake again."

"Then it's settled. We can tell everyone tomorrow when we finally admit we're married." She agrees, pulling away.

I nod and stretch, yawning. "Let's get some shut eye then, it's going to be a long day tomorrow and I have a feeling it's not going to go over smoothly."

She smiles and pats my shoulder, leading the way up to the room, just as exhausted as I am from the long and wonderful day. I make a mental note to bring Christmas to our new home somehow, even if it means coming back to Four next year.


	24. Please don't give up on me!

I am so, so, soooo sorry for not updating any of my stories lately! My husband and I found out we are expecting our first baby and between the excitement of that and the normal symptoms of pregnancy, I just haven't had any ambition and have been too tick to write anything! I'm starting to feel better as the weeks pass so I'm able to sit on my computer for longer than five minutes. I am hoping that I'll be able to get some updates out in the next couple of days if not a week. Please just don't lose faith in me, I'm going to do my very best to write something to make up for keeping you all waiting!

Please don't give up on me just yet!

Sincerely,

SS


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